Beautiful To Me
by caitlolz
Summary: Loss of time. Darkness. Silence. Peyton has found herself in a dark place. S2 orient.
1. This Place Is A Prison

**Beautiful To Me**

Loss of time was the only thing she needed to know. Darkness surrounding her was the only thing she needed to see. It enveloped her leaving her crying silently on her bed. Silence inside was the only thing she needed to hear. Deafening it had become, though she was so attuned to it, she rarely heard it. The brush of cold air against her skin was the only thing she needed to feel. Cocaine was the only pain she would ever need or want. It was only supposed to be one time. One time and nothing more after that. One time, however, turned into a downward spiral of lies and addiction.

Peyton Sawyer made her way alone up to the school her arms clasped tightly around her books and her head dipped low, her blonde curls whipped about her face. Her footsteps were slow and deliberate and her muscles ached even at the slow pace. She dared not to look at anybody for fear they would see right through her. Afraid that they would see the secret she feared most to carry. The world around her seemed to move faster and she was caught in slow motion.

Rumors of her sexuality had spread throughout the entire school only sinking her down further. It was almost too far for her to shake it off now when things were just too far deep. Her lover Jake had come and gone faster than she could hold on. He was the one rock in her life. Now he was gone, torn away from her. Loneliness crept upon her leaving her continuously running from the problem she feared most. Even her best friend seemed too wrapped up in her new boyfriend to spare anytime for Peyton. The days were longer and the nights were shorter. She could no longer feel the time passing around her.

Walking, as harmless as is seemed threw Peyton's mind into a race. Her thoughts moved so quickly she barely had time to make sense of them. The painful memories came haunting back, she was cold, the drugs were beginning to wear off and irritability was setting in. She wanted nobody to look at her, nobody to even notice her existence. That seemed to work well. People rarely ever acknowledged her anyway now and she preferred it. She did not want people to see her in her true light. She was a mess that could barely keep herself together during the day. The weakness she felt she did not want the others to see it also.

Yet one person still watched. One person still saw the hurt she was going through. So many times he had wanted to say something, but fell just short. He watched her struggle after Jake had left and the rumors flew around school of her sexuality. So badly had he wanted to hold her tightly in his arms and reassure that everything would be alright. Times had changed between them. Their friendship slowly slipped away from him and she went on to do other things, while he did the same. Suddenly silence was a common conversation between them. But still he watched and wished and hoped.

She could feel the eyes of another human on her as she walked. Lifting her head she dared to see the person staring at her. Never would she forget the look Lucas Scott gave her that day. She would always remember his brooding face and blue eyes narrowed staring right through her, yet still held a semblance of an innocent child. Forever, she would remember wanting to reach out to him and scream to the world that she had a problem. Time slowed as their eyes met and finally she could feel the seconds ticking by.

In that moment she remembered everything they had shared together. The moments of intimacy and the confessions between them. She would never forget those times, they defined who they were now. Tears trickled from the corners of her eyes as she reminisced. Her head fell again, using her hair as a shield between her and Lucas. He was something of her past; she could never let him be something of her future.

"Peyton! Wait!" Lucas called out jogging a few steps to catch up with her. But she had already gone inside, now lost among the sea of students. His head dipped slightly and he adjusted the strap of his backpack over his shoulder. He had seen it in her eyes then. He saw the blank empty stare, a hurt that she nursed for the love of a boy that had gone away, and the struggle with the pain she currently felt. Her emotions coursed through him, he felt everything; her pain and her anguish. There was a want then to chase after her and be the one to shield her from everything that was hurting her. Lucas, however, had lost this right the moment he came back to Tree Hill.

Upon escaping the scrutinizing gaze of Lucas Scott, Peyton found herself on the bathroom floor in the ladies room. The tears leaked from his eyes and silent sobs escaped her throat. She had known for a long time the mess she was in, but it was much easier running and denying that she had any sort of problem. Now she was fully aware how deep she really was. The dependency and addiction, it was so easy to lie to yourself and to others. However, Peyton found it hard to continue to lie to herself when one person had seen right through her. He had seen everything. He knew.

She took the small vile from her bag, it was no secret as to what is contained. Her eyes stared hard at it, contemplating in her mind whether or not it was worth it. Of course she new that answer right away. Drugs were never worth it. They were never worth the time money and energy that were wasted. They did, however, nurse the hurt in her heart and keep her just barely afloat when she felt like she was sinking. Still, they were never worth it.

With a small splash, she tossed the vile into the toilet and flushed and she watched it swirl out of view. She crawled back to the wall propping herself against it letting her eyelids close. In her heart she knew it was the right thing, but her mind told her otherwise. Her mind told her she needed the very thing she had just flushed away. She needed it, and god Peyton, she believed it. Still she fought the temptation; she may have very well put up a valiant effort. Her efforts were lost and eventually she gave in.

She ravaged through her bag, dumping the contents out on to the bathroom floor. Pens and pencils scattered everywhere as well as many of her notebooks. She fumbled clumsily through the contents finding nothing. Tears leaked from her eyes and in the next instant she was clawing at the toilet begging for the vile to come back. She cried and sobbed with the loss of her self control. There was nothing more to numb the pain she felt she had flushed it away and now it was gone. In the next instant she was hunched over the toilet bowl emptying her stomach's contents into the bowl. She fell against the bathroom wall against, crying, screaming, and sobbing on agony. All she wanted was for the pain to go away. She pulled her knees to her chest, arms wrapping securely around her legs. She dipped her head and cried silently into her knees.

"I'm sorry." She whispered over and over. The words never gave her penance for peace of mind.

"I'm sorry mom. I'm so sorry."


	2. The start: A simple touch

**The start: A simple touch**

Sometime later Peyton managed to crawl out of the girl's bathroom her eyes bloodshot and swollen from crying. She dragged herself to a secluded corner in the library. It was not uncommon for her to miss class as regularly as she did. In fact it had become sort of a routine. Truth be told all she really wanted was solitude and all she wanted to hear was her quiet sobs and the silence pounding in her ears.

It was during his study hall that Lucas walked briskly into the library seeking quiet to enjoy a new book he had picked up. He sat at a table not too far from where Peyton sat crying and he began to read. It was not long though before he heard the quiet sobs of her crying. Closing his book he knelt behind a bookshelf to find Peyton curled in a ball sobbing.

She did not take to his presence or even acknowledge that he was there. The crying continued and he felt her pain as she sat there helpless. Eventually, a wave of fatigue hit Peyton and her head came to rest on the shoulder of Lucas, the darkness finally overtaking her. He sighed softly brushing back the curls from her face. Even in sleep she looked absolutely beautiful. Her face looked younger and less tired. Her youth captured in its purest form.

"Come on lets get you home." he whispered picking her up, cradling her in his arms.

In slumber Peyton felt a sudden calm wash over her and warmth spread through her body as Lucas held her tight in his arms. She nestled her cheek into his chest feeling light as a feather as if just maybe she could float away.

With ease he placed her gently in the passenger's seat of his car. He placed an arm around her shoulder as he drove. While he enjoyed the fact this was the most time the two had spent together he could not help but feel worried about Peyton. She was missing almost for the entirety of the school day and some days she completely missed. It was odd and completely out of character for Peyton. Somewhere in his heart he knew the real reason behind it, but the problem was actually bringing himself to say it.

Lucas stole a glance at Peyton still sound asleep. She looked so innocent in sleep, how could a face that seemed to hold no secrets be involved in such horrible things. After parking the car, he pulled Peyton from the passenger's seat again cradling her against his chest as he made his way inside.

Once inside her room he laid her softly on her bed she felt so fragile to him, so easy to break. He lay beside her listening to the gentle sound of her breathing, his eyes boring into the ceiling. It wasn't long before he too drifted off into sleep her breathing a serene lullaby that rocked him gentle to sleep.

When he awoke he turned over hoping to see Peyton still beside him sleeping peacefully. Yet what he saw was an empty bed. He pushed himself up with one arm the other he used to rub the sleep from his eyes. He saw her then sitting in her computer chair staring at him.

"How long have you been up?" he asked hoarsely stealing a glance to darkness outside the window.

"Not long." she replied never taking her eyes off of him. Normally, she would have wasted no time in shoving him out the door, cursing at him for lack of better things to say. Now, there was no one's company she wanted more than his.

"I won't ask about today. It's none of my business." he averted his gaze to the walls which were decorated with her various drawings and paintings. A few of them made him cringe.

"Good, because I wouldn't have told you anyway." The words sounded harsh though she did not intend them to be. If anything she was honest, she would never tell him the real reason.

Lucas gave a faint nod watching her as she gracefully made her way to the edge of her bed, hoisting herself up to face him.

"Listen, Peyton I'm sorry I haven't been here for you lately or been a very good friend. It's not my place to pry. Just know I'm here for you and I do still care about you." Their eyes locked if only for a moment. In that moment a spark was there as emotions rushed between them. The feeling of the emotions surge through her veins remembering this feeling all too well when she and Lucas were together. She averted her gaze back to her bed, her fingers playing with the hem of her shirt.

"It's not all your fault Luke. I've been distant myself lately. I just feel so alone." Stifled sobs rose in her chest. Suddenly she felt weak beneath the gaze of Lucas Scott. He wrapped his arms around her, shielding her away from the evils that plagued her. Consequences be damned, he would do whatever it took to protect her.

"You're not alone Peyton. I'm here can't you feel me?" he whispered into her hair burying his cheek there.

She nestled closer into her chest, her body seeming to mold into his. The touch from her fingertips was cold, shockingly cold as they ran up his arm causing a light jerk. Peyton thought nothing of it and returned to her ministrations. They lay there like that, letting the minutes tick by neither one of them dared to move for fear of losing the comfort in which they felt. One thing, however, could not be avoided and that was Peyton going to the bathroom.

She had promised just a moment but a moment turned into five minutes and then ten. Lucas sat wondering if he should go inside to check on her make sure everything was all right. It would be he assured himself and sure enough she came padding from the bathroom and fell into his arms once more. Yet something was different about her. Her eyes seemed out of focus and her voice slightly more airy. He held his tongue though, she had said it before, it was none of his business.

Listening to their gentle breathing eventually lulled the pair into a deep sleep their bodies spooned together. She felt his warmth as she slept and his arm wrapped protectively around her. Early afternoon arrived as Peyton's eyes snapped open only to see Lucas still sound asleep beside her. A smile began to play on the corner of her lips her fingers running along his arm feeling the muscles taut beneath his skin. She listened intently to rhythmic beat of his heart inside his chest, matching the beat to that of her own heart. It was there, everything was still there for them, but it could never work.

The idea of going to school seemed prominent; at least for Peyton had Lucas been awake to voice his own opinion. However, Peyton was content where she was and had no intentions of moving for the duration of the day.

Her fingers danced along his arm once more, though this time his eyelids fluttered open at her touch. He grinned broadly bracing himself as he sat up. Peyton sized him up making note of the tired lines in his face. He looked worn out his eyes did dance as brightly as they used to.

"What's wrong Lucas. You just slept for almost fourteen hours."

His head fell slightly and he heaved a deep breath, "Things are just complicated. There are things with Keith and my mom and Dan of course. It just keeps getting harder and more complicated and I'm not sure how to deal with it anymore."

Instinctually, she wrapped her arms around his muscular upper body feeling his head nestle into the crook of her neck. "You're only eighteen Lucas. You can't save the world and no one should depend on you to do so."

The light whisper of her voice and her soft touch of her fingertips running along his back was enough to comfort and calm him. He broke away with a smile, "Thank you Peyton."

He reared up from the bed ready to leave when he heard her speak again, "Lucas."

He turned around with a smile nodding his head towards her.

"Thank you for taking me home yesterday. I'm glad you did." a light smile played at the corners of her lips.

"You're welcome. I'm glad I did too."

She watched him leave with a smile playing across his own lips. In one swift movement she fell back onto her bed feeling lighter than she had in ages as if a burden had been lifted from her shoulders. Idly she played with a frayed thread from her comforter. For better or for worse Lucas was back in her life he was always going to be there for her. Never again would she push him away like she had. It felt good to have someone close to her again. Comfort and security was all she wanted.


	3. Your Own Disaster

**Your Own Disaster**

Peyton stopped by Tric the following day going over inventory and making sure everything was in place for the all ages night that was swiftly approaching that weekend. She did this not out of habit but to lighten the load of Karen who was balancing the café on top of the club. Time passed quickly as she went over every little details being even more meticulous than usual. It was something to take her mind off the drugs, something to keep her busy hoping to fight the addiction considering she had flushed the last of what she had down the toilet.

All was quiet except the soft click of the cd cases and the gentle scratch of her pen against the paper. The silence waned almost immediately at the crash of the door returning back to its place. Peyton thought nothing of it figuring it was only Karen coming to check on her. She listened more closely at the footsteps. They did not resemble that of Karen Roe's whose were light against the wood. No, these footsteps were heavier like that of a mans. She dared not to turn around or even breathe. Instincts begged to take over telling her to move and hide, but she stood there completely frozen.

The footsteps kept getting closer and Peyton's heart rate increased drastically. Her muscles tensed as she felt the cool breath of the stranger slick her neck. A light chuckle caressed the side of her neck.

"Relax Peyton, it's me." came the husky voice from behind her.

Peyton's breathing evened out and her heart rate calmed, her muscles, however, remained tense. She dared not to turn around to meet his stare. If there was one thing she was afraid of it was to look in his eyes. There was no depth, no emotion, which had all been wiped away with the drugs. Soon she feared her eyes would be identical to his.

"Hello Rick." she managed continuing to sift through the cds. His arm draped over her shoulders. He was so at ease with her, could he not feel the tension in her muscles beneath her skin or was he just completely oblivious to it.

Silence passed between them for several minutes. A common conversation between them now. It was easier than actually pretending she had any use for him other than to get what she needed.

"About time you called, I was wondering how long the last of what I gave to you was going to last." the cold drawl enveloped her completely immobilizing her. The cds fell back into place as she released them finally turning to face Rick.

"It's been a bad week." she replied gruffly averting her eyes to her shoes his fingers playing nervously with the hem of her shirt. Rick merely laughed scratching at the scruff on his chin.

"Everyone has bad weeks kid. It's a good thing I like you."

That did not fool Peyton; she had been able to see right through him since the moment they met. She only played along to pacify him so she could get what she needed. Rick was merely a pawn in her master plan. When the time came to move on from him she would find someone else to use. Someone who could give her something better.

"Yeah, Rick whatever. Do you have the stuff?" she asked bluntly finally looking up at him though she still refused to meet his blank stare.

"Woah woah, not so fast now Peyton. Let's talk kid. I want to hear how you've been." a devious smile played on his features. Peyton rolled her eyes, this was just another game he played with her. Holding out on her until she finally cracked and spilled the details of her life to him. He was so manipulative it drove her crazy.

"Come on Rick, no games today. Just please give me what I need."

Rick merely laughed at her. "Oh so you've retreated to using begging."

Peyton looked down at her shoes for a moment. When she returned her gaze upwards he was immediately on top of her, his face only inches away from hers. "Are you willing to get on your knees Peyton and beg? Beg for Rick to give you what you need. Plead with me, 'I'll give you anything Rick. Anything.' " he mocked her in a high pitched voice.

"Huh Peyton are you willing to do all that. Just for this plastic bag?" he rummaged in his pocket pulling out a small plastic bag filled with a white substance holding it in front of her. Waving it in her face as a sign of victory. He had her cornered.

She retreated away from him tears slicking down the sided of her cheeks. "No." she shook her head.

Rick laughed menacingly once again. "Okay then Peyton, then tell me what has been going on in your little teenage world?"

Peyton inhaled and exhaled deeply. "Things haven't been going well. Brooke is dating the new guy Felix and she has almost no time for me. All the while Lucas Scott finally admitted he still wants to be my friend. And I still miss Jake." she finished dropping her head silently crying.

Rick clapped slowly, "Aw pity party for Peyton. Jake goes away and poor Peyton can't seem to nurse the hurt. Oh wait, yes she can." his smile was devious as he pulled out the plastic bag once more.

She reached out her hand ready to grasp the bag between her fingers. Suddenly she saw the hurt look of Brooke if she were to find out. She saw the disappointed look of Lucas and Haley. Most of all she saw her deceased mother's crying face from up above. God what was she doing? She was ruining her life, breaking down everything she had ever worked for. She recoiled her hand slightly. Then another wave hit her. All she could feel was the pain in her heart. Suddenly her addiction kicked in knowing all she had to do was one line to numb the pain and then another and another. It was a vicious cycle but she could no longer tear herself away from it.

Her hand grasped the bag pulling it from Rick's fingers. She could feel the instant gratification pass through her. "You got money to pay for that right?" she very nearly missed him say gruffly.

Peyton froze in spot. Immediately her hand flew to her pocket which was empty. Her mind shot to her bedroom. She could picture the money sitting on her desk she had intended to use it for this occasion. It wasn't there when she left though. She gasp bringing her hand to cover her mouth.

"Shit." she murmured remembering she had used it to go grocery shopping the afternoon prior to her encounter with Lucas.

Rick raised a brow at her, "You can pay me for this right?"

Peyton shook her head rubbing her brow in frustration. Rick would not simply get away with this, he was not stupid. Some sort of payment would be involved.

"Rick, I don't have the money. Could I pay you back later?"

"What like an IOU?" both brows arched at her.

She nodded pocketing the bag. "Mhm, I left it at home and you're busy. We'll meet up again soon and I'll have the money for you."

Rick seized the opportunity moving closer to Peyton placing an arm around her blocking her only escape route. His breath slicked cold against her neck as he pressed his lips there. "You know Peyton, there is another way you could pay me back." he whispered seductively running his lips to her jaw fingers entwining in her hair while his other hand played with the hem of her shirt.

She tried to break free but he was just too strong. "No Rick please. Not now, I will pay you back I promise."

He let go of her adjusting his jacket, "You're damn right you will."

Those were the last words she heard him speak as he left. She shuddered slightly still feeling the ghost of his lips at her neck. He had not been kidding and she knew that. How could she lie to herself? Rick was always crossing boundaries, she would be no different. Just a way for him to get pleasure and her to succumb to the one thing that weakened her.

Suddenly the urge overcame her. Sprinting to the bathroom she hovered over the bathroom counter spilling the contents of the bag on to his marble surface. Shuffling through her pocket she managed to find a twenty dollar bill rolling it tight. Tears began to stream down her face. Drugs, it was all ugly. She hated the way she looked doing it. Dirty money shoved up her nose inhaling something that would only numb the pain for a short period of time. It was all so ugly. Doing lines was the easy part. Dealing with the emotional stress after she came down from her high was something like a rollercoaster ride. For now though, she would enjoy her high, pretending she was flying, and the feeling of not feeling at all. It felt so good.


	4. The Best Deceptions

**The Best Deceptions**

News traveled fast around the town of Tree Hill to Peyton's dismay. The fact that she had been screaming and crying in the bathroom would not stay a secret for long. Neither could the fact that Lucas Scott himself was seen carrying her out of school passed out in his arms. So it came as no surprise to Peyton as she arrived home that Brooke had attempted to call her at least fifteen times. That was what she got for leaving her phone at home.

Still coming down off her high she was in no right shape to be socializing with anyone. Coupled with the fact that Brooke was seeing Felix led her to believe that he was probably over there. In fact they were always together lately leaving Peyton off to the wayside slowly disappearing. Brooke hardly seemed to have time for her anymore.

Peyton fell back on to her bed sighing deeply debating whether or not to call Brooke back. If anything they could just talk over the phone. Brooke knew, however, how badly Peyton was hurting after Jake had taken off with Jenny she would probably suggest Peyton come over. At least Peyton hoped that it would be so. Still she could not shake the feeling that Brooke wanted to weasel more out of her.

In the end she reluctantly dialed Brooke's number waiting as she heard the ringer in her ear. Finally Brooke answered but it became clear she was not alone. With Brooke giggling and deep boom of laughter in the background was all Peyton needed to hear to know that Felix was over doing god knows what to her.

"Hello." came Brooke's voice followed by sharp giggle and reprimand to the boy in the background.

"Hey Brooke, I saw that you tried to call me…like fifteen times. I was just wondering what's up." Peyton felt so detached from her body and so detached from everything around her. Indifference as many would call it completely summed up her life at this point.

"Peyton, come on everyone heard what happened two days ago and the fact that you and Lucas were last seen together and you two did not show up at school today. Yeah I can put two and two together." Brooke replied feeling so confident that Peyton and Lucas had certainly done the deed.

"Brooke it's not even like that, he was just being a good friend." replied Peyton with a roll of her eyes though Brooke could not see her.

"Oh whatever P. Sawyer, come over here, I want to hear all the details." Brooke said with sense of urgency and want.

"Brooke, I can hear you and Felix practically fornicating on the other line, I'm not coming over right now."

Brooke merely chuckled, "Jeez Peyton he lives right next door, not like I can't just send him home. Please P. Please please please come over?" Brooke pleaded with Peyton already knowing that she would give in.

Peyton sighed, "Fine Brooke you win. As usual."

"Yes!" Brooke cheered. "I'll see you in a little bit." Click.

Peyton sighed ruefully shoving her phone forcefully back into her pocket. Her walk down the stairs was slow and with no urgency whatsoever. Truth was even walking up and downstairs now became a challenge. If she did not stop this thing soon she would not even be human anymore.

The car ride to Brooke's house was unusually quiet even for Peyton's standards. The music was turned so low she could barely hear it over the rush of wind in her ears. It was a time for reflecting for Peyton. More or less time to get her story straight before Brooke began to interrogate her. She was used to these little interrogation sessions with Brooke by now. Yet Peyton had shut herself out from the world she used to know, completely alienating herself from everyone that cared about her. Even her father had to consistently pry to get any new information out of his daughter. It concerned him, but eventually fell to the wayside as he parted for another voyage at sea.

The lights were on at Brooke's house as she stopped her car her knuckles turning white as she choked the steering wheel. Another moment passed as she breathed deeply then finally climbed from her Mercury Comet. Her pace towards Brooke's bedroom door was slow and elaborate savoring her last moments of peace with her mind and also confirming her story inside her head. One light knock then she heard Brooke call from the other side, "Come in!"

Peyton turned the brass knob sliding inside hearing the soft click as the door closed behind her. She was ecstatic to see her best friend though her smile quickly turned as she saw Peyton. It did not go unnoticed how frail and thin she appeared her skin taking on an even more pale tone. Peyton saw Brooke's stare feeling her heart pound inside her chest. The last person she ever wanted to know her secret was Brooke. Brooke signaled her to join her bed immediately pulling Peyton into a hug as she did so.

"I've missed you Peyton. It feels like we haven't talked in ages." Brooke sighed wrapping her arms tightly around Peyton.

"Because it has been Brooke." came Peyton's voice barely above a whisper. She wiped away a few tears that streaked down her face.

"I know Peyton and that's my fault. I've been spending so much time Felix and then this whole thing with my parents. Sorry I haven't really had anytime to spend with you." Brooke felt guilty as she had let her friendship with Peyton fall to wayside. What made her feel even guiltier was it was at such a critical point in Peyton's life. Jake had just left again the talk of her sexuality and the fact that her father was hardly around anymore. She could see the toll it was beginning to take on Peyton's body.

"No, Brooke it's my fault too. I've been so distant lately. And I've tried to consume it with working at Tric but it hasn't seemed to help much." Peyton replied adjusting her position to face to Brooke.

Brooke stared at her long and hard trying to see what was hidden behind those green eyes. She could see the sadness written in her eyes. The bag beneath her eyes came as no surprise as tired as she looked. Her body even looked thinner than usual her skin tone paler than usual. Still Brooke could not pin exactly what was wrong with her. She knew it was something though. Something so much bigger than herself. Peyton was struggling with her life and it pained Brooke to sit on the sidelines watching her best friend deteriorate right before her very eyes.

"Peyton, what's really wrong?" she asked raising a brow of concern.

Peyton felt the tears build behind her eyes and soon they came in a full stream sliding quickly down her face. "It's just everything is going on at once. Getting suspended, Jake left, again. All the while I just feel so alone. My dad is never home anymore. And I miss Jake."

Brooke pulled Peyton into a tighter embrace stroking the blonde's hair. "Shh, Peyton it's going to be okay. I know it doesn't seem like it right now but things are going to work out for the better. You just need to believe."

Wiping away the remaining tears on her face, Peyton broke away from Brooke smiling ever so slightly at her best friend. "Thanks Brooke. I really have missed you. This felt good." That was only half true. The lie came in the form that it did not feel good at all. She had heard that little speech repeated to her so many times it fell on deaf ears. She wished people would see what was really going on behind the façade that she put on. It would make everything so much easier than actually admitting her problem to anyone.

The two girls exchanged good-byes coming in the form of whispered words and tight hugs. Peyton smiled giving Brooke another small thank you before she slid through the door and into the outside world. The world that felt so cold to her. She stole a final glance at Brooke's window feeling a pang of guilt wash through her. She had just lied to her best friend. Lies and deceit all coupled with drugs led to Peyton living in the misery that she was. It was becoming too hard to even be in the same room with people who cared about her. All she could hear was them shouting at her, begging her to come clean. She feared that they all knew and refused to confront her. However, Peyton knew that that could not be true at all. The people around her cared about her and feared for her especially in her state. It was only a matter of time before she truly and deeply believed that.

--

Brooke anxiously dialed the number to Lucas' cell waiting impatiently for him to pick up. He was her last option her go to man. If he could not help then Brooke had no idea what she was going to do.

"Hello?" he finally answered sounding as if he had just woken up.

Brooke sighed in relief thankful he answered her call. "Lucas, I need your help. I know I'm not the only one who has noticed Peyton's drastic change. Please, can you keep an eye on her and look out for her. I'm really worried that that there is something else going on that she is not telling me."

"Yeah sure Brooke." he replied suddenly sounding alert. "It's no problem. I've been really worried about her too."

With a final click they ended their phone conversation. Lucas fell back onto his bed resting his hands behind his head. He had always known that something else was wrong with Peyton. It was the denial in him that kept him from actually believing it. Now he knew and now he was confident.


	5. From a Whisper to a Scream

**From a Whisper to a Scream**

Peyton was not oblivious to the fact that Lucas Scott had been unusually eager to spend almost every waking minute with her. His behavior was odd and out of character considering the last she heard he was pining over trying to get Brooke back. Of course she knew the boy was conflicted, he always was. Clearly something else was up and she was not going to wait to find out what Lucas had planned up his sleeve.

A week passed and everything passed normally, Peyton hung out with Brooke when Brooke found time. She also spent time with Lucas. In between socializing she found herself holed up in a bathroom doing lines and letting the pain wash from her body. How long she could keep this up, she did not know. She was well aware of the consequences of what she was doing. In all reality stopping was harder than knowing she had to stop.

Lucas and Brooke both remained supportive, leaving her alone on days she felt too weak to even climb out of bed. They helped her through the school day when all she felt like doing was running away. Lucas held her in her darkest hours while she cried silently into his chest. Aching at the loss of Jake and her mom. Lucas feared most that all the pain and anguish she was carrying was eventually going to completely take over her body as if it already had not started. Everyday he could see a little piece of her slip away, her eyes more emotionless every time she blinked. Her body looked thinner with every passing day. He was losing her and he felt as if there was nothing he could do.

Peyton appreciated her friend's efforts though she felt they were wasted on her. All she did was distance herself even more. Close up into her shell and put up all of her defenses. Despite their comfort she felt alone and slowly disappearing into the depths of her life. No matter how hard they tried they just could not penetrate her walls. Little did she know that one little act would cause her to push away the one solid rock in her life. She was going to push away the one person who would always be there for her through thick and thin.

--

Peyton lay on her bed her mind slowly slipping and her eyes slowly closing. Sleep was beginning to overtake her, the darkness was slipping in. Her eyelids finally closed her chest rising and falling with every breath. She thought if only for a second she could fall asleep and never wake up an eternal coma in which she would never wake. Life would go on, people could move on, no longer would she be a burden on their lives.

Her wish though, would not come true. The sharp song of her phone snapped her eyes open. Groaning she rolled over to reach her phone eyes focusing on the name that flashed before her. A light smile played at her lips as she saw Lucas' name. It took only another second for her to answer.

"Hey Luke." she said into the receiver sounding slightly groggy.

Lucas chuckled at the other end. "Hey you." he replied. He too fell on his bed flipping through the final pages of the book he was reading. "You sound tired, I didn't wake you up did I?" She heard the sudden concern in his voice.

She played it off with a laugh, "Haha, no I was just resting my eyes, but that doesn't matter. I'm glad you called what's up?"

He paused in hesitation, this was the most cheerful he had heard her in a long time, he was completely taken aback by it. "Oh, well if you wanted to sleep it's no big deal."

Peyton rolled her eyes, "Luke, just spit it out. I wasn't sleeping now use your words."

Lucas joined in her laughed running his fingers furiously over his scalp. "I was just wondering if you wanted to chill today. Do whatever, go for a walk, get some ice cream. Something fun, just get away from everything tonight."

She picked absently at her comforter, "That sounds great Luke. Come on over then we'll go."

A smile tugged at both corners of their lips. "Alright, awesome. I'll see you in a few Peyton."

"Alright, bye Luke." She hit the end button rolling on to her back. She had a few minutes to kill, there was something she could do.

Lucas' pace to Peyton's house was slow and steady his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his jeans. His thoughts aimlessly drifted back to their phone conversation only minutes previously. There had been a spark of happiness in her voice. Something he had not heard in a long time. Maybe just maybe she was beginning to breakthrough. He could only hope that this was true, that she was beginning to come around and be herself again. The Peyton he had once loved and still did.

He knocked once on her front door before gradually opening it. The house was unusually quiet in the absence of the blaring music from Peyton's room. That was out of character. There had not been one time when he had been over to her house that she did not have some form of music blasting through her speakers. Cautiously he made his way upstairs unknowingly that he was about to stumble upon something that would change everything.

"Peyton?" he called into her room.

"Hold on a second." she called though he did not from where.

He heard shuffling in the bathroom and he leaned over slightly to peak through the crack she had left open. His eyes widened at what he saw. Peyton was hunched over the sink crushing a white substance on to a cd that lay in her hands. He looked away closing his eyes trying to process what he had seen. Maybe he was just imagining things. Again he leaned over to peak through the crack only to find a worse sight. A rolled up piece of paper hung from her nose while she inhaled the white substance on the cd. Lucas finally pulled his eyes away suddenly feeling nauseous as he made his way back to her room.

His heart raced inside his chest. He definitely saw what he feared most something he had assumed but could never believe. Now here he was all the facts presented in front of him. He was not quite sure how to deal with it.

As he heard her emerge from the doorway he suddenly lifted his head smiling slightly. She looked so normal and so at ease. He was not sure how to handle it. How could she appear so normal?

"Hey you ready to go." Her voice was light and airy. Suddenly he remembered the day they had spent together and her trip to the bathroom. It all made sense now.

"What?" he raised his brows. "Oh yeah. Let's go." he said catching himself. He rose from the bed following the blonde downstairs and into the warm air of the outside.

As they walked conversation seemed dead. They talked of meaningless things, things they probably would not remember by morning. They talked about music and the new albums that were out. Peyton seemed completely oblivious to Lucas' distant behavior. He found it hard to find words to say to her. In the end he knew what he had to do. He had to confront her, even if it meant losing her. After a quick stop for ice cream on Lucas they made their way full circle ending up at Peyton's house.

She took his hand within hers dragging him upstairs to her room giggling as she did so. Lucas chuckled almost completely losing sight of what he had to do. She stood in front of him rising on to the balls of her feet, her lips moving closer to Lucas'. He too began to close the distance between them. Suddenly he paused taking a deep breath.

"Peyton we need to talk." he said firmly.

She opened her eyes rejection washing over her face then anger began to surface. "What do we need to talk about Lucas?"

"You." he replied sitting her down at the end of her bed.

She raised her brow at him folding her arms over her chest, "And what about me do we need to talk about?"

Lucas sighed deeply taking her hand in his. He dared not to break eye contact as he began. "I've been worried about you for a long time now." He paused trying to read the expression on Peyton's face as she rose her eyebrows. "And you've been changing, I know you're hurting and I wanted to believe you were dealing with these things in other ways. Then today I saw you snorting coke. Peyton, I never thought you would actually sink to that level. You're better than that Peyton. I'm worried about you and I want you to get better." he paused focusing on her face that shown only anger.

Immediately she stood up throwing her hands in the air, "Oh great Lucas! You care now! So what if I do drugs! It's how I handle the pain it makes it go away. You wouldn't understand Lucas. You haven't been my friend for months and now all of the sudden here you are and you're worried about me. That's great Luke. You know what just get out! Get out! Forget about what you saw and stop caring about me. I was doing fine long before you wanted to be apart of my life." Tears leaked from her eyes as she screamed turning her back to Lucas.

"Peyton please it's not like that at all." he pleaded.

"Just get out Lucas. Get the hell out." she replied her voice cold and laced with contempt.

He dipped his head shoving his hands back into his pockets stealing a glance at her as he departed from her room. He sighed leaving her alone not saying another room as he left. Peyton refused to look back at him collapsing in her chair crying silently.

--

"Hey." he said into the phone barely above a whisper. "I need to ask you a favor."


	6. Decipher Reflections from Reality

**Decipher Reflections from Reality**

Tears streamed down her face as she cradled her head in her hands. He had tried so hard to help her and love her and she pushed him away. Now where was she? Coming down from her high, along, and crying. She had certainly done a great job this time.

In silence she listened to the sounds of the night. She heard the crickets chirp, small animals scurry away and the faint, gentle sound of the wind. There was a disturbance though, a sound that was out of place and did not belong with the creatures of the night; a sound that resembled that of footsteps.

Immediately, her head shot up and she peered curiously into the darkness her senses alert. To her dismay, she saw nothing. Then a figure began to emerge and take shape. As he stepped under the streetlight Peyton saw him clearly and her heart lifted.

"Jake!" she exclaimed rearing eagerly from her porch step. When she met his warm body she felt his arms wrap around her forming a tight and secure hold.

"I've missed you so much." she whispered pulling away just to see his face. She cherished it forever engraving his features in her head and heart.

A small smile parted his as he too had forgotten how breathtaking she was. Though he took note that looked different somehow; thinner and frail with tired lines beginning to set.

"I've missed you too Peyton." he murmured pulling her closer to his body just to feel her again.

She felt herself collapse into his chest, the tear again falling from her eyes. These tears, however, were not tears of sadness, they were tears of joy. She was in the arms of the boy she loved.

He cradled her closer to his chest burying his cheek into her hair. In that moment everything seemed to fit perfectly the two of them together locked in a powerful embrace. Seconds passed, minutes passed, but they did not care. Jake could sit here for hours cradling her to his chest until she broke away. The days he missed out on were soon forgotten, there were no 'I'm sorries' or broken promises. It was just the two of them brought together beneath a streetlight and nothing else mattered.

It was sometime before Peyton broke away from his grasp their eyes locking with a thousand unspoken words passing between them. She searched the depths of his eyes praying and hoping that this was for real. He was not just a dream he was here in the flesh she could feel him. The tears came again causing Jake to take her hands enlacing their fingers.

"Peyton what's wrong?" he asked in strangled whisper pressing his lips to her brow. Jake was careful. Jake was cautious. He dared not to make a sudden move or pull her into another a hug. He knew she needed the moment to feel his presence to accept that he was really here.

"You're here Jake. God you're here. I've played this moment over in my head a thousand times and it never felt this good. I've missed you and it feels like you've never been gone." she choked out through her own sobs her hands shaking within Jake's. Again her eyes met his in a blazing stare. A smile tugged at the corner of Jake's lips as he waited for her to speak again. It only took a second for her lips to reach his and suddenly their lips were moving together. A strong hand entwined in her hair while the other found the small of her back. It was not like their other kisses which had been more soft and tender. There was a sense of urgency in each of their lips for fear that one of them would soon disappear.

Several long minutes passed or maybe hours before they finally parted, smiles radiating from both of their faces. It was with a slight nod and a devious smile that they found themselves upstairs in her room reminiscing of the first time they made love. Jake held her close as they lay on the bed. Peyton did not fight and nestled closer to his chest feeling his warmth spread through her body.

"I don't want to be alone tonight…could you..."

"Stay the night." he finished for her. She gave a small nod.

"Of course." he replied pressing a kiss to the top of her head. Another sigh left her being as they lay there in silence. No words seemed right no action seemed better than just the two of them spooned together.

Inevitably, sleep would eventually take Peyton's body despite her protests. The battle was eventually lost to her aching muscles and tired mind. She did not fall into slumber without a kiss and slurred, "You'll be here when I wake up right?"

Jake only sighed kissing her once more, "Of course I will." Then he watched her eyelids flutter close as she fell soundly asleep. He lay there in silence holding the girl that made him feel alive. He feared for her though, for what would happen to her when he would eventually have to leave. Already she was not looking good; he could not even imagine what would happen to her when he left. For now though he pushed it from his mind and focused on the moment in which he was currently living, the moment with the girl that made him the happiness he has ever known.

Peyton woke up in tears sometime in the early morning. Jake jolted awake stealing a glance to the window seeing the darkness still outside. She clung tighter to him burying her face into his chest unable to control the sobs.

"Peyton, what's wrong?" he asked a strained whisper instinctually wrapping his arm tightly around her.

"I-I… I had a d-dr-dream that y-you were g-go-gone when I w-woke up." her words came out in sobs as she wrung the material to his t-shirt in her hands. Jake was here he was solid why was it so hard for her to accept that he was not a dream?

"Peyton, shh. I'm not leaving tomorrow. I'll be here right when you wake up." he whispered soothingly stroking her hair pressing his lips to her temple. "I'm here Peyton. I'm right here."

All rationale left her being her thought process was set on one thing. No longer did she care that Jake would eventually have to leave. She had kept her guard up with him and he had broken it down once more. He was here, she needed him and he needed her. Every thing made sense. Their eyes locked, Peyton no longer thinking crashed her lips against his. She felt him go rigid beneath her. Peyton paused though her lips did not move she waited for his next move. It took only another moment for Jake to respond with a kiss passion pouring from his being as he rolled to hover above her. Heat rose between them flushing their cheeks as they kissed furiously, tongues entwining in an intricate dance. Emotions ran through Peyton's veins as the heat rose in her stomach as Jake worked tirelessly to remove her clothing as well as his own. Every touch, every kiss, and every whisper of her name sent ecstasy coursing through her veins. He obeyed her every request keeping a firm but gentle hold on her hips, his lips caressing her collar bone up to her jaw.

She fell asleep in his embrace once more, feeling the exhaustion as his gentle breathing and the steady rhythm of his heartbeat lulled her into a deep sleep. He held her close throughout the night, his arms wrapping around her in a secure hold. He feared if he let her go if even for moment she would slip away from him and never return.

Morning finally came shining brightly through her blinds causing a strained sigh to escape from her throat and her eyelids to flutter open. "Good morning." she smiled up at Jake all traces of doubt washed away from her mind. She let her fingers roam idly the plains of his chest while she listened to the cadence of his heartbeat.

"Good morning to you too." he replied pressing his lips to the top of her head pulling her tighter to him.

"If you hug me any tighter I just might suffocate." she teased poking his nose with a smile. A heart chuckle emitted from his throat completely enveloping Peyton warming her to the very bone. His grip, however, slacked slightly.

Peyton frowned, "Hey, I didn't say let go. I love to feel close to you."

Jake chuckled again stealing a glance at her alarm clock he sighed falling back into the pillows. "Do you want to do something today? Get out or something." he whispered nibbling seductively at her ear.

"Mhm, can't we just stay in bed all day?" Peyton pleaded snuggling closer to his chest just wanting to feel close to him.

"Last night was perfect. You were perfect. The night was perfect. I never wanted the moment to end. I could have laid there all night cradling you in my arms and I would have died the happiest man alive." he paused momentarily a grin parting his features. "But, it is a beautiful day out and we're going to do something constructive." he finished throwing the covers from his body and sliding into his pair of jeans from the previous night.

Peyton groaned rolling from her bed and sauntered lazily into her bathroom after grabbing a few articles of clothing as she went. Jake smiled kissing her as she walked by him. He resumed dressing pulling his shirt over his head crouching down in search of his watch.

"Hey Peyton have you seen my watch?" he called to her in the bathroom.

Peyton hesitated a moment finishing brushing her teeth, spitting the remaining contents into the sink. "Um, check the bedside drawer. I think you might have put it there." she called back.

Jake smiled making his way to her bedside table rummaging through its contents, no sign of his watch. His fingers brushed that of plastic bag then a flash of white caught his eye. He grasped the object uncertainly feeling the substance beneath his fingers. It was no secret as to what it was. Part of the problem was he did not want to believe that Peyton had sunk this low. He mulled things over in his head, his heart racing. It very nearly stopped as the bathroom banged open and her voice came light and cheery from the doorway.

"Hey Jake are you ready to go, find your watch?" she asked easily leaning against the frame. Jake shook his head clutching the bag tightly in his fist.

He stood up, turning to face her holding the bag out in front of him.

"Peyton what is this?"


	7. Say You'll Never Leave

**Say You'll Never Leave**

Peyton lay upon her bed tears streaming from her cheeks her face buried into her pillow. He had left, she watched him walk out into the street and vanish before her own eyes. He had barely been with her for twenty-four hours. The only thought she could hang on to were their last hours together. They made love; she could still feel the heat of his body enveloping her. She could still feel his strong arms wrapped around her, holding her tightly. Everything had changed in just a few minutes; she pushed him away, the boy who she loved. He was gone.

Brooke arrived sometime later standing between the door frame, frowning slightly at the curled up figure that was Peyton. Closing the distance in three strides, she sat at the edge of her bed lightly brushing Peyton's shoulder.

"Hey Peyton. Is everything okay?" she whispered concerned her fingers brushing back the blondes bangs.

Peyton rolled over to look at Brooke. Her eyes were red from crying and her nose was running. "Jake was here."

Brooke paused raising a brow, "Wait, if Jake is here, isn't that a good thing?"

Peyton sighed turning back over and burying her face back into her pillow. "No he was here, as in he left." she grumbled into the pillows.

"Oh." was all Brooke could manage, "So how did it go?" she whispered leaning closer to her friend.

Peyton paused remembering their final hours together. The memory instantly brought tears to Peyton's eyes.

--

_"Peyton what is this?" Jake repeated again throwing the plastic bag on to the bed his eyes never leaving hers. Peyton merely stared back at him unable to find words to come up with an excuse. _

_"Peyton." he said again firmly._

_The tears came then without warning, she fell to her knees burying her face into her bedspread. It came around full circle, first Lucas, now Jake. How many times was she going to mess up before she lost everyone who loved her most._

_"Please Peyton, please tell me it isn't yours. Tell me that you are holding it for someone and you're getting rid of it soon. Please Peyton, please tell me it's not yours." he pleaded moving around the bed to kneel beside her. _

_She shook her head looking up at Jake wiping her eyes, "I don't want to lie to you Jake. I can't lie to you."_

_Jake's head fell as he cradled it between his hands. "Peyton." his voice trailed trying to find words to express how he felt. Hurt, shocked, they barely scratched the surface. Peyton fell back on to the ground, tears beginning to fall from her eyes yet again. She could feel it, she was about to lose the one solid thing that she had, the boy who made her happy, who made her feel whole. She was losing him, and there was nothing she could do or say to make him stay._

_"Jake." she whispered touching his shoulder lightly. He looked up to her meeting her green eyes. She pressed a light kiss to his lips pausing before she pulled away._

_"Peyton, I can't." he replied shaking his head. _

_Her face fell again, "Why not Jake? I'll throw out the drugs and we can pretend like you never found them and we can crawl under the covers and never leave the bed." she pleaded stroking the side of her face._

_Jake shied away rising to full height and paced along the opposite of the bed. "Peyton we can't. We can't change the past and we can't continue on like nothing happened. You have a problem Peyton. This is obviously why Lucas called me."_

_"Lucas called you?" she interrupted with a whisper bringing her gaze upwards._

_"That doesn't matter Peyton. What matters is you have a problem. But I can't stay her and help you with it. I have a daughter Peyton. I have two lives that I have to look after. I can't stay here and help you get over your addiction. I have two jobs Peyton and they barely keep me afloat now."_

_"Then why did you come back?" she whispered her eyes falling back to her bed._

_Jake sighed rubbing his forehead furiously. "Lucas asked me for a favor. He said you weren't doing so well. I never planned to stay long. But I also didn't plan to find what I found."_

_"Please, don't leave, stay for the rest of the day."_

_Jake shook his head, "I'm sorry Peyton. There are people here who love you, I love you. You can't push them away, they want to help you. I only wish I could. No matter what Peyton I love you and leaving you like this kills me inside. But you need to get better, you need to heal. I can't help you with this as much as I would, I can't."_

_He circled around the bed kneeling on one knee next to Peyton. She turned to face him, tears still falling freely from her eyes. He pressed a light kiss to her lips. "Remember I love you." he whispered then disappeared from the room._

_She watched him from the window crossing her arms over her chest. He looked back up to her frowning then continued down the street. She watched him walk until she could no longer see him. The tears came then as she collapsed upon her bed, face buried into her pillow._

_--_

Without getting much information from Peyton, Brooke left her friend with a light hug and whisper of reassurance. She lay there again, her eyes boring into the ceiling. She did not move for a long time, time seemed to just pass her by. The morning seemed to so far away and last night even further. Time was not a factor anymore; she already knew she was running short. She could not run from it forever.

It was sometime during the night that Lucas plucked up the courage to go visit Peyton. Jake had left him a voicemail about his departure, and it was no surprise to Lucas that Peyton was probably a wreck. He sighed as his hand clasped around the doorknob to the front door as turned it. His first initial thought was to turn around and not look back. There was no way she wanted to see him right now. However, he continued on making sure his footsteps were light as he made his way up the steps. He paused between her doorframe, frowning at her curled up figure.

"Peyton." he whispered weakly taking a step inside.

She did not move or even make a motion that she acknowledged his presence, she merely laid in her bed her eyes still fixated upon the ceiling.

"Peyton please talk to me. I never meant to hurt you." he whispered again. She turned to face him her face blank and unmoving, not even a blink. Lucas moved closer joining her upon the bed pulling her close to him in a hug.

"You were right Lucas, I have a problem." she whispered burying her cheek into his chest. She sighed weakly knowing he was right all along. Had she just listened to him the first the time she could have saved herself a heartbreak.

"I never meant to bring it up like I did. I shouldn't have sprung it on you like that." he replied stroking her hair.

They lay like there for awhile, Lucas holding Peyton in his arms listening to her breathing while she listened to rhythmic beat of his heart. It all felt so good, it felt like it did before he knew about her problem. She felt safe again, she felt whole again. Everything felt good again, but she knew there was more that needed to be said. Only could she hope that she was truly ready to fight her addiction.

"Lucas, I'm ready to quit. I'm ready to get help. I'm ready to stop being so god damned dependent on drugs. I'm better than this. I know I am." she felt him pull her tighter to his chest. "Listen Lucas, I'm glad you confronted me. I'm glad you found me. If you hadn't I'd probably end up dead. Now I know I'm ready. I'm confident that I can beat this. I want to be happy again. I want to feel again. I want to feel whole again, like I do right now in your arms."

A smile tugged at the corners of Lucas' lips as Peyton finished her speech. It was everything and more he wanted to hear. Truly, he believed that she was ready and he was ready to stand by her every step of the way. Consequences be damned he was going to help her in every way possible.

"You don't know how happy I am to hear you say that Peyton. Every one has missed you. They're ready to help you too. I'll be here Peyton, through thick and thin I'm going to help you get better."

Peyton smiled stroking his cheek feeling his warmth spread through her finger tips warming the entirety of her body. "Thank you Lucas. You really are a great friend."

Lucas smiled pressing a kiss to the top of her head. He laid with her up until he had to leave to make it home for curfew. He pressed a kiss to her brow before he left leaving Peyton smiling on her bed. As she fell asleep, she fell asleep with a smile upon her face and happy dream in her head. For the first time in a long time she felt good like her life was finally starting to take a turn for the better.


	8. Death Is The Easy Way

**Death Is The Easy Way**

The following day Lucas arrived at Peyton's doorstep promptly at noon. The two had agreed that he would scour the house searching for any hidden traces of drugs. He searched high and low, over turning cushions and rummaging through the entirety of her cabinets. He took Peyton's phone and deleted Rick's number and all traces of it from her phone. She watched him flush everything she had down the toilet. She knew it was for the best, he was trying to help her.

The entire process took close to two hours ending with Lucas collapsing in a heap upon Peyton's bed. He sighed resting his hands behind his head as his eyes bore into the ceiling. Peyton smiled leaning on the edge of her bed playing idly with a bracelet.

"Thanks Luke." she murmured tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

Lucas propped himself up with his elbows looking at Peyton with an arched eyebrow, "You don't have to say thank you."

Peyton shook her head in defiance, "No you don't understand Luke, I need to say thank you. I would never have had the strength to do this all by myself. You pointed me to the light a few days ago. I just didn't realize it. I yelled at you, I told you get out of my life and you still came back. You've been a better friend than I deserve and for that I'm thankful. So thank you again Lucas Scott."

Lucas smiled jumping off the bed to wrap Peyton in a warm hug, "You're welcome Peyton Sawyer, but you deserve more than you think." he whispered burying his cheek into her blonde locks.

Peyton chuckled resting her hand on his chest, "Seriously, Luke, learn how to take a compliment."

Lucas snorted and joined in her laughter. The two friends spent the rest of the afternoon listening to music and talking. Lucas also tried to stump her with songs, but to no avail she was successful in naming everyone. Time seemed to pass to quickly when they were together. The seconds sped by and the hours went by faster than they realized. It was not long before they realized how much time had actually gone by when Lucas glanced at his cell phone. Peyton groaned knowing she still had things to do at Tric.

"Ugh, well I guess I had better get going. I've got some last minute things I need to do at Tric." she paused for moment her eyes meeting her floor. "Um Lucas…" she trailed tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Hmm?" he replied with a raise of his eyebrows.

"Things are probably going to get bad tonight. I'll most likely start having withdrawal symptoms soon. Things are probably going to get ugly… but could you stay with me tonight?"

Silence fell between them, but not for long as Lucas answered her. "Of course Peyton. I promised I would be here for you no matter what."

A smile parted Peyton's lips as well as a sigh of relief. "Good thank you so much Luke."  
He shook his head pulling her into another hug. "I'll tell you what, I'll drop you off and stop by a little bit later and pick you up?"

Peyton nodded in agreement and soon they were on the road blasting music and dancing at the stop lights. After he dropped her off she watched him leave and she slowly began her trek up the stairs. One step at a time each step slower than the rest.

Once inside she began her usual routine of doing inventory of all the drinks since their last club night. The task was tedious, yet completely necessary in order to keep the club afloat. The silence inside the club calmed her and relaxed her muscles. It was definitely a break from the usual upbeat and loud music with people yelling ad the heat rising from everyone dancing. She preferred it like this, calm and quiet. It was just her in her own world with a pad of paper and a pen sifting through the alcohol and making notes.

Next she made her way over the merchandise tallying up the number of shirts left, smiling realizing how many they had actually sold. Even some of the band ones were gone. She triple checked the balance in the register making sure everything added up. Things were moving along quickly, if she kept at this rate she would be able to call Lucas and she could be out of here before nine.

Peyton was wrapping up the final things on her to do list when a light knock alerted her senses. Immediately she whipped around to face the door, only to find it was closed. _It was nothing calm down Peyton,_ she told herself continuing to write down the list of things that Tric needed. Minutes passed in silence until she heard a small thump again. Her heart raced as her eyes scanned the club and still nothing.

Instinct seemed to overtake her in that moment. The fight or flight response. Something was out of place; something just did not feel right. She trusted her senses, there was someone else here. Her pen dropped on to the counter and she turned to run. Despite her reaction, she was caught around the waist a strong hand covering her mouth. Her first reaction screaming was in vain, his hand muffled most of her sound. The more she squirmed trying to get free, the rougher he became with her, jerking her around and throwing her up against the counter. Finally her teeth clamped down upon his flesh causing him to rip his hand away from her mouth cussing loudly.

"You little bitch." he shouted his hand flying across her face, the sharp sound of the slap echoing about the club. Her eyes grew with surprise. The voice was so familiar and so rough.

"Rick?" she questioned backing away from his silhouette in the darkness. He followed her, as he stepped into the light she could see his crazed grin and a fury in his eyes.

"Why hello Peyton." his voice sounded almost maniacal as his sentence finished with a crazed laugh. The distance between them was closing and soon enough Peyton was going to run out of space and trap herself. She stole a glance to the door that was at the other side, too far away; he would catch her before she ever got that far.

"What do you want Rick?" she managed trying her best to keep her voice even and calm. Even she could not fool herself, she could hear the anxiety as she spoke. She hoped that she could buy herself some time. Lucas would show up and know what was going on.

Rick chuckled continuing to close the space between them. "Funny you should ask Peyton. I thought of all people you would know why I'm here. I pegged you to be smart."

Peyton racked her brains, she had not called him. There was absolutely no reason for him to be attacking her. "Rick what do you want?" she repeated feeling her heart race within her chest.

He laughed again stroking the stubble on his cheek. "Oh Peyton, maybe you recall a week and a half ago, our last meeting here if you will. I vaguely recall some one who looked much like yourself telling me that they would get the money in the near future. So I listened, this person was a good customer, a very good customer indeed and pretty too. I trusted her, going against my better judgment and allowed this girl to pay me back soon." he paused, his crazed stare never leaving Peyton's face. "So I waited thinking maybe she would call me in a few days. No, nothing but silence. I figured, what was a week? Maybe she was waiting on a check or something else. A week went by and still no phone call. I am a patient man, but not this patient. You've kept me waiting for far too long now Peyton. I believe your options are clear, hand over the money you owe me right now, or simply be killed."

Peyton gulped her eyes never leaving him, she watched intently, making note of any sudden movement. "Just give me one more day Rick, I have the money." she pleaded scooting down the wall.

"Hah, I am not that gullible Peyton. I've waited far longer than I intended." he laughed again moving closer to her still.

"Wait, Rick you don't want to kill me."

Arching a brow his stare turned fierce, "And why the hell not?"

"Because, if you kill me you don't ever get your money and what good would that do?"

It took him only a second to close the gap between them his hand clasping around her throat and his face only inches from hers. She felt the muscles in his hand constrict around her windpipe cutting off nearly all of her breathing. He slapped her hard across her face again. A single tear fell from her eye.

"Oh I don't plan on killing you here. I plan on leaving you here to bleed to death." he replied in a growl taking her head and smashing it against the wall. "Now are you going to give me the money or not?"

She clawed desperate at the hand that clasped around her throat but he did not move. She was going to die right here at his clutch. Her breathing would eventually stop and he would win. All of the nonsense would be over, no more false pretenses. Darkness began to take her.

"Peyton." called a voice that sounded like an angel to her. An angel whose voice sounded extremely familiar.

"Who the hell is this?" questioned Rick turning to see Lucas standing in the doorway his hand never leaving Peyton's throat.

"You little bitch!" he screamed at her throwing her body against the wall, turning to meet Lucas who was running full tilt.

Lucas stopped in front of Rick stealing a glance to the crumpled figure on the ground that was Peyton. Anger rose within in him, even more than before. He turned back to Rick his fist meeting the man's face in full contact. Rick stumbled back, wiping the blood from his lip a smile still etched upon his features.

"Is that the best you got?" he taunted glowering at Lucas.

Lucas responded with another punch to his face, followed by another directly in his stomach. He watched as Rick fell to the ground. It took him only seconds to pounce back on top of him continuing the blows to the head.

"You will never touch her again, you fucking bastard!" he screamed finishing his last punch. Lucas rose to full height nudging Rick with his toe. He was alive, unconscious and still breathing.

"Peyton." he whispered kneeling down besides her picking up her broken figure. She collapsed into him tears falling freely from her eyes.

"It hurts Lucas. It hurts so bad." she whispered clinging tighter to him.

"I know. I know it does. You're going to be alright. I'm going to get you out of here and we're going to go far away." he whispered stroking her hair cradling her close to him. He rose to his feet, still carrying Peyton.

"Where Rick?" she asked weakly clinging tightly to Lucas.

"Shh, he won't bother you anymore. I promise." he whispered back placing her gently in the passenger's seat of her car. They needed to get out of Tree Hill and fast. It would not belong before Rick came to and would come looking for them. They needed a plan, but most importantly they needed to get out of Tree Hill first.

He came to screeching halt in front of Peyton's house, moving quickly around to the passenger's side, he helped her out. Are you okay to walk? I can carry you again if you needed me to."

Peyton shook her head, "I can walk." Lucas grabbed her hand leading her up to her bedroom and immediately instructed her to begin packing a bag. His heart was racing, he hoped he still had enough time to get his things and get out of Tree Hill before Rick was back on his feet.

"Lucas what are we doing?" she questioned though still followed his orders and began to pack her bag.

"We're getting the hell out of here and laying low for awhile." was his response as he helped her pile things into her duffle bag. The entire process took only minutes, but to Lucas and Peyton it felt like a lifetime. Everything became a blur then, thundering downstairs, jumping in the car and speeding off all felt dream like to them.

Soon they were in Lucas' driveway and he wasted no time thundering to his room with Peyton in tow. He too began to pack himself a bag, making much more noise than necessary. It was only inevitable that Karen Roe burst through the door demanding why he was making all the noise.

"What do you mean you're leaving Tree Hill?" she shouted making Lucas recoil on to his bed.

"Mom, there are things that I don't have time to explain right now. What I can tell you is Peyton needs help and the only way to get her help is to get out of Tree Hill. I'll come back soon I promise. Mom the only other things I can tell you is there is a guy looking to hurt Peyton and I can't allow it."

Karen looked from Lucas to Peyton her face falling and her heart breaking. Keith was already gone from Tree Hill and now she was going to lose her son too. Tear glistened in her eyes as she fought back the sobs.

Lucas wrapped his mother into a reassuring hug, "Mom, everything is going to be okay. I'm going to come back I promise." he whispered.

"I'm so sorry Karen." Peyton whispered as she too began to cry.

Karen wrapped Peyton in a tight hug. "You stay safe. Promise me you two will stay safe."

Peyton nodded, "We will. We will."

With that they departed the house leaving Karen watching from the porch step as they sped away. Peyton immediately glanced to Lucas, "Tell me what is going on where are we going?" she demanded.

Lucas sighed, "Listen Rick tried to kill you. We're getting out of Tree Hill because that is the first place he will look. Peyton I promised I would help you this is the only solution. I've called the cops they're looking for him. I'm taking you to a cabin that Keith always took me and my mom up to. Everything is going to be fine." he finished pressing his lips to her brow. Unfortunately, they both did not believe that they would be okay.


	9. How To Save A Life

**How To Save A Life**

Trees and cars passed by in a blur as the night wore on. Eventually Peyton fell asleep her head resting peacefully upon Lucas' shoulder. He sighed wrapping his arm around her pressing a kiss to the top of her head. The two hours drive seemed to fly by and soon they were heading up the drive through a thick lane of trees. Finally a small little cabin appeared through the brush.

Lucas parked around back, nudging Peyton slightly and whispered her name. She awoke in an almost violent jolt seemingly disoriented. She rubbed her eyes while Lucas helped her out of the car. Stumbling as she tried taking her first few steps, Lucas caught her, taking her hand and guiding her inside.

Relieved the lights worked, Lucas flipped on the hallway light leading Peyton down to the last bedroom and turning that switch. "Come on, lets get you to bed." he whispered drawing back the sheets and comforter and helping her into bed.

"I'll run into town in the morning and pick up food and such. I'll be back before you wake up." he said pulling the covers over her and pressing a kiss to her forehead. As he turned to leave he heard her voice.

"Thank you Lucas." she whispered weakly turning over and falling to sleep. Lucas smiled making his way back to the front room; he triple checked every exit making sure it was locked as well as every window. Finally, he collapsed on the sofa drifting into a light slumber. There would be no time for dreams tonight just a faint feeling of alertness. By morning the true struggle would start and that would be a challenge all on its own.

--

Peyton awoke in the morning sweating, though her body felt completely cold. It took nearly the entity of her will power to pull herself out of bed and walk to the kitchen where she found Lucas standing over the counter making eggs.

"Hey Peyton." he called from over his shoulder scraping the contents of the pan on to a plate. As he turned around he very nearly dropped the plate. He sized up Peyton, she looked gaunt and pale as a ghost. Had it really only been one night? Things had almost taken on a dream like feel to him. Nothing felt real to him anymore.

She padded quietly over to the chair where Lucas had set down a plate in front of. She sat down softly her eyes never leaving Lucas. There were so many unanswered questions she wanted to ask, but she could not bring herself to open her mouth. He motioned her to eat while he sipped at his orange juice.

"I bought food to last us at least two weeks. I hope we don't have to stay here that long but I wanted to be safe." he said in a feeble attempt to make light conversation. She nodded pointedly, but one look to her face and Lucas knew she was hurting. Peyton did not touch her eggs, merely pushed them about her plate.

Lucas helped her back to bed then went back to the front room. He heard the couch groan beneath him as he sat drawing his phone from his pocket and dialing his mother's number. She picked up on the second ring, the worried tone in her voice unmistakable.

_"Lucas? Lucas? Oh thank god, where are you?"_

Lucas sighed, "I can't tell you where I am mom in case someone comes after you."

_"You listen to me young man. Tell me where you are right now!"_

"Mom, calm down. Please relax. I can't tell for the sake of your safety. I'm doing this to protect you. Please just listen to me." he pleaded. "Peyton and I are safe, we'll be home soon. Every thing is going to be okay." he brave falsetto wavering in his voice.

He heard his mother begin to cry on the other line. Her heart was breaking she could not lose Lucas too. It would be too much for her.

_"Please stay safe. I love you Lucas."_

"I will, I love you too mom." he whispered and shut his phone. Suddenly a wave of emotion enveloped him. Tears began to fall from his eyes as he thought of his mother. What had he gotten himself into?

The second night was worse than the first. Lucas had tried to fall asleep on the couch. The only thing he heard though were the low moans of agony from the back bedroom. The sound was like running fingernails down a chalkboard. He could not just sit by while she suffered. Grabbing a pillow and walked quietly to the bedroom. It saddened him to see her tremble beneath the sheets. He lay beside the bed staring at the ceiling.

"Just breathe Peyton." he murmured, "just breathe."

By morning she was sitting up awake, disoriented but awake. Lucas sat up, eyes widened in surprise. "Good morning." he said hoarsely.

She paid no attention to his words. "Do you have a tv?" she asked flicking her eyes to him.

Face falling, he nodded rising to his feet and rummaging around the house for a small tv to hook up. Finally, he hooked up the small tv from a closet and situated it at the end of her bed. He shut her door partially behind him and he went to sit upon the couch to collect his thoughts.

Peyton rejected most things he offered her, coffee, chocolate and toast. Eventually he gave up all together, picking idly at the toast Peyton had refused to eat. He checked his phone, seeing at least twenty missed calls from Brooke and Haley. He called back Haley and Brooke reassuring that he and Peyton were safe. He refused to give them details assuring them they would be home soon. Despite there pleas he did not say anymore and hung up the phone. Falling back into the couch he sighed in frustration. The lies, the running, Lucas could not deal with it any longer. Peyton was hurting and suffering. His mother was worried sick, he could almost picture her up at night curled with one of things. Haley and Brooke probably thought he and Peyton were on some sexcapade with each other. He could not tell them anything; it only put them in danger. Peyton needed to get better, she needed to heal. This was only for the best. Peyton needed him, and he had promised her he would be here for her. He only wished so many people were not in danger for the recklessness that they had left behind.

--

Days passed slowly, Peyton kept mostly cooped up in the bedroom. Nights were the worst. She sweated and kicked and rolled over in pain. She pleaded for death to take her and to see her mom. She was in misery and there was nothing Lucas could do to comfort her. Lucas sat on the couch most nights staring at the wall and just listening. He had no answers on even where to begin. Most of his nights were spent like this, completely hopeless.

She rarely spoke to him, and if she did it was only to ask for something. Lucas had come to accept this fact, she was battling the internal war and she was relying on him to take of her needs while she fought. He helped her out of her pajamas so she could shower. They had all but moved passed that awkwardness at the contact they were sharing. There were no boundaries anymore. He changed the awful smelling sheets with fresh ones.

He watched her silhouette pad slowly back to the room. He followed her taking her hand and helping her into bed.

"Thank you." she whispered falling into the pillows. A smile tugged at his lips as he pressed his lips to her forehead.

He found himself on the couch once more, listening to the faint sounds of the tv. It was hard to make out the words, he figured she was watching a movie. Closing his eyes, he felt the fatigue hit him and he drifted into a light sleep.

"Lucas." her voice sounded like a dream to him. "Lucas." her voice came again. He awoke with a start figuring it was just a dream. Then Peyton's voice rang again. He appeared between the doorframe standing awkwardly before her. "Come lay with me, I need you here with me tonight."

He nodded, not thinking twice. Crawling beneath the comforter he wrapped his arms around her, immediately feeling her curve into his body. She slept through the night, not a moan or a toss or turn. The night was completely still it never felt better.

--

Lucas awoke the next morning to find Peyton up and out of bed. Where she found the strength he had no idea. She had disappeared from the room causing Lucas to jump up and search for her. It did not take long. The entire house was upturned, cabinets drawn open, clothes from their bags thrown about the rooms. He found her in the bathroom frantically going through the cabinets.

"Peyton." he said sternly kneeling beside her.

"Lucas shut up and leave me alone." she said never looking to him just continuing to rifle through the many toiletries. Lucas stood up leaning against the door frame. She pushed passed him and went to pack her bag. Lucas followed her, snatching the bag from her grip.

"You're not leaving." he said again sternly tossing it to the side.

"Yes I am." she replied without so much as a quaver in her voice. He stood firmly between the doorframe as she tried to push passed him. "Let me go Lucas!" she screamed as she punched him in the stomach.

"No." Lucas replied his eyes never leaving her.

Her attempts to escape were in vain as she slapped and punched at him. He caught her wrists in his hands, his fingers wrapping around her fragile wrists. "No Peyton. You are so much better than this. If you go back you'll end up dead then all of this was pointless. I love you Peyton, I'm not letting you go back. Peyton listen to me you can do this. I believe in you."

Peyton collapsed into his arms sobbing. Lucas stroked her hair and helped her back into bed where she continued to cry. He lay with her until she fell asleep. He held her close in reassurance that he was not going to leave her in her darkest hour.


	10. This Is Where I Belong

**This Is Where I Belong**

The next days passed in silence for Peyton and Lucas. He did not speak when he set her meals in front of her. He could express his elation that she finally had her appetite back. Peyton on the other hand, had no words for her apology for the way she had acted. He was there to help her and she had thrown it back into his face.

The two barely acknowledged each other when they passed on the way to bathroom. Nothing more than a light nod and shy smile. There were so many things Peyton wanted to spill to him. Things she had kept bottled up for the sake that she knew he was pining for Brooke. But things had changed between them now. Their moment of crises had brought them closer together. He had seen what was really happening when no one else could. He had helped her when everyone else had shunted her aside. That left a lasting imprint on her, something that could not be soon forgotten.

Lucas himself found the silence rather deafening. They could not continue to live in silence, there was far too much to talk about. So many times had he wanted to say something when he brought her food. But the words caught on his tongue and he choked them back. They were no longer just Lucas and Peyton. They were bonded by something stronger than the both of them. All of their walls had been broken down in just a week and a half. Silence was no good for them.

He sighed falling on to the couch where he had practically made his living. Fatigue hit him like a wave of unexpected emotion. He drifted into a sleep tainted by nightmares. He awoke with a start sitting up only to find Peyton standing over him.

"Woah, Peyton what time is it?" he asked startled sitting upright letting his eyes adjust to the darkness.

"I don't know, late I guess. But there is something I need to tell you." came her voice in a whisper. Lucas nodded making space for her on the couch and flicking on a light. For the first time in what felt like ages he got a good look at her face. While she still looked frail, solid food had done her well. Her skin showed more color and her cheeks were not as gaunt. It was truly a sight to see. Her face radiated beauty that had been masked while she raged the war within her body.

"Okay. Shoot." he replied turning slightly to face her.

Peyton inhaled deeply never daring to break eye contact. "I'm sorry for a few days ago and the way I acted. You didn't deserve that, you've done nothing but help me and again I tried to push you away."

Lucas hugged her tightly, "Peyton you don't need to apologize. I understand what you're going through is something beyond my control. I could never be mad at you. You are stronger than anybody ever thought you could be. I believed you could fight this and look at you, you're practically glowing."

Peyton blushed a deep red, "Ugh there you go again with this whole too understanding thing. But thank you so much Lucas." She pressed her lips lightly to his cheek bade him goodnight and made her way back to the bedroom.

Lucas fell back onto the couch a smile stretching from ear to ear. Her in his arms felt so comfortable and so natural. They were just friends though, and he knew that. But could a nine days completely change the way you look at things? For Lucas that answer was yes. For the first time he felt like he had truly seen who Peyton was. She had touched his soul and that would forever leave a lasting impression.

Peyton fell back onto the pillows of her bed, her head swirling. She wondered vaguely if Lucas had felt the spark between them. The spark they used to feel before she ended things. It was still there, it had always been there. It was simply the denial between them both that had buried it down in the depths of their hearts. He was right, she was glowing, but not for the reasons that he thought. She was glowing because of him. At the very thought of him, the butterflies within her stomach kicked up and whirled about. It was a feeling she thought had gone away when she let him go. Now that feeling was back and raged like a monster within her, begging to come out. In her heart she knew it too that soon it would be too hard to hide the feelings she presented clearly on her face. It was only a matter of time before Lucas realized it too. A wave of fatigue washed over her as she fell asleep with a smile etching her features. Tomorrow was going to be a good day; there was no doubt about it in her mind.

The mid-morning sun trickled through the drawn blinds in her room as she awoke with such grace. She dressed quickly and quietly made her way around the house only to find him in the bedroom standing on the balcony. She wondered if he did this every morning, inhaling the fresh breeze and basking in the glow of the sunlight. As he heard her he turned around and immediately their eyes locked. Every thing they had ever shared, every moment, every touch had led them to this moment. He met her in the middle of the room, silence still hanging over them.

"Lucas." she whispered stroking his cheek. He placed a hand upon her cheek wiping away the tears that had already settled in her eyes with his thumb. "Peyton." he replied raising his eyebrows at her.

Silence seemed to take precedent in her mind as she bit back the words that begged to spill out. Then, when she could no longer hold the barrier, the words poured from her mouth and her heart.

"You've been her for me Luke every step of the way. You encouraged me to continue fighting even when I wanted to give into temptation. You saved me from the mess that was me. And most importantly, you taught me to love again and the beauty behind it." she felt light when she finished as if the weight from her shoulders was completely lifted. The burden was no longer there.

Lucas pulled her into a hug, burying his cheek into her hair. "It was always there for you Peyton, love. You just needed guidance to find it again."

She pulled away from him, the two teens found themselves caught in each others gaze, neither daring to break contact. They stared deeply into the eyes of one another, searching for their hearts desires and a flurry of unspoken words and emotions passed through them. Each seemed frozen, unable to bring themselves to make a move. Minutes, hours, seemed to pass them by. But time was not an issue anymore. Time did not seem to matter.

Instantaneously, her lips crashed against his, but he did not fight the kiss, rather he embraced it. She broke away for a moment searching Lucas' eyes as he did hers. Carefully he removed the hoodie in which she wore and Peyton fell gently on to the bed. He braced himself with one arm returning his lips to hers. She could feel the heat between them raging like a fire jumping out of control.

With his help she was to remove his shirt, leaving him clad in only his jeans. Her fingers ran over every line in his chest, tracing the muscles taut beneath his skin. His lips moved sensually down her neck and to her chest causing soft moans to escape her throat. Gently, he lifted to fabric of her tank top, kissing the exposed skin of her stomach. There was no more thinking involved between them anymore. It was the simple fact that they had each other.

Working quickly, he removed her jeans from her slender legs letting them fall gracefully to the flow. He hovered over her a small grin etching both of their features. It was a secretive grin, a lovers grin. She fumbled clumsily with his belt, finally able to unbuckle it and turn her attention to the snap of his jeans.

She brought his face back to hers once his jeans had been successfully removed. Their lips met in a heated, passionate kiss, their tongues entwining working more fiercely than their bodies. His hands worked flawlessly as he removed her tank top, his lips able to roam freely about her torso. Peyton's hand worked tirelessly over the expanse of his back, familiarizing herself with every line and ridge.

There was a moment of hesitation for Lucas, he brought his face back to hers, their eyes locking. In Peyton's green eyes he saw the flicker of reassurance and love and he knew it was real. Every moment, every touch, and every mistake between them had led them to this moment. A moment of pure clarity, a moment to realize that he was done hiding his feelings for Peyton. The heat from their bodies radiated between them, a spark to ignite the fire. His lips crashed against hers his hand found her hip.

"I love you Peyton." came his words through his breath as he tried desperately to catch it.

She had waited so long to hear him say those words they nearly caught her by surprise. She ran her hands through his hair bringing her face close to his, "I love you too Lucas." she whispered before their lips reconnected yet again.

It was a slow and teasing process as he inched down her underwear, causing a strangled moan from Peyton. It backfired on him then, the sweet sound of her moan had sent an electrical current through his body. He tossed the panties idly to one side kissing back up to her chest. His kisses begged Peyton with an unmistakable sense of urgency. She obeyed his plea hooking her finger beneath the waistband of his boxers and let them fall around his ankles.

She brought er lips to neck sucking at his flesh. She moaned at the heat the enveloped the too as she begged for more. Lucas closed his eyes as he pressed gently into her wet warmth. She shifted her hips, adjusting to his as he moved within in her, his thrusts in a slow and rhythmic movement.

With a whisper of his name, she relaxed beneath him, wrapping her arms around his broad shoulders. He took it slow at first completely lost with the pure infatuation of making love to her. He groaned crashing his lips to hers as he was enveloped by the tight hot heat. Peyton moaned a plea of urgency. "Lucas, I need you..."

He fueled her request with not word nor sound as the pace of his thrusts quickened move more deeply inside of her. Her legs wrapped around his hips urging him deeper. He caught her mouth in a hard kiss as his pace increased as she moaned into his mouth.

He pumped inside of her rhythmic steady strokes, met by the passion in their kisses as she raked her nails along his back.

With a throaty groan he released his seed hard and abruptly. Peyton followed shortly after screaming his name as she rode out the last vestiges of her climax, his very blood was on fire as the pleasure swirled with passion around him. He collapsed next to her pressing a series of kisses to her collar bone as she raked through his sandy blonde hair. Their eyes locked, neither speaking, just smiling. He pressed a light kiss to her lips and let the silence of clarity overtake them.

--

She stood on the balcony a sheet wrapped around her body as she stared longingly at the sunset before her. She was completely lost by the sight that she did not notice Lucas who was awake. He stared at her a smile radiating from his face. She was fixture of beauty as the sunset illuminated her silhouette.

She turned around to find Lucas propped up on one elbow smiling broadly at her. Peyton found herself so at ease with him, there was no questioning or regret between them. In fact they had never been surer in their lives. Every thing felt right between them. Pressing her lips to his, she sighed, loving stroking his face.

"What does this mean Lucas?"


	11. When You Are Near

**When You Are Near**

Their eyes locked melting into a blue and green vortex. Neither dared to look away or speak as if to test each other. "What does this mean Lucas?" Peyton asked again, this time with a sharper edge in her voice.

"What do you want this to mean?" he replied quickly groping for her hand, tangling it with his.

A long pause of silence fell between them followed by a deep sigh from Peyton. "I want this to be more than a lapse in judgment, more than a mistake. I want this to be the start of something great, something that won't fade over time."

"Peyton you could never be a mistake." He interrupted, but Peyton placed a finger to his lips so she could finish.

"I want this, I want us. But most of all and above everything else, I want you Lucas Scott and only you."

Again their eyes locked, silence between betrayed by the hard thump of Peyton's heart within her chest. Lucas thought of nothing else better as he leaned slowly to her. "Luke, I—" but she never got any further as his lips pressed against hers. A simple kiss, yet she the tingle from his lips pressed to her all through her body. A kiss she never wanted to break for air. He pulled her town on top of her, heated, naked flesh melting together as they sank deeper into the kiss. No longer would anything between ever be a mistake. They could make love with sweet bliss. All outside factors aside, it was just the two of them spooned together within a cloud of love and lust.

She lay in his warm embrace feeling the thump of his heart against her cheek. He smiled at his lover pressing his lips to her soft blonde locks. Blissful silence enveloped them if only for a moment as the soft twittering of birds echoed from outside. The two lovers completely lost themselves within the tranquil white oasis, cuddled together beneath the sheets.

"What do you want to do today?" he murmured brushing away the bangs that fell into her eyes.

"Peyton sighed longingly letting her fingers dance along his forearms, feeling the heat from his skin at fingertips. "Spend our lives in bed together." She whispered back coupled with a light giggle.

"You are unbelievable." He laughed pulling her lips into a soft kiss.

"And you have a dirty mind." She said with a roll of her eyes. "I meant just lay here forever in your arms and never leave."

"Oh." Lucas replied lamely mentally smacking himself for not understanding. "We could still…ya know…"

She hit him playfully, "Forget it now." They lost themselves in a fit of giggles until Peyton finally interjected with, "What did you do everyday anyway, while I was out of it?"

Lucas sighed kneeling his forehead against hers. "Watched tv mostly, called my mom, Haley and Brooke and worried about you a lot."

Peyton's face fell. "I'm so sorry Luke. And I feel bad for worrying everybody."

Lucas smiled kissing her nose, "Don't be sorry, Peyt. They all understand the realities of this situation. They're just glad you're okay. You needed to get better. And now that the worst of it has passed I'd like to think are going to keep getting better. Things are going to be okay."

Peyton looked to him, optimism shining in his irises. "Do you really believe that?"

Lucas nodded enlacing their fingers. "I do Peyton. I really do."

Peyton sank into the warmth of his embrace feeling a sense of security wash over her. They lay like that for hours curled together and murmuring softly. Time passed quickly, the hours floated right on by. They watched the sun set and the first star appear in the sky from the balcony. Fatigue swept over Peyton as they fell into the pillows once more. She stifled a yawn, but that drew Lucas' attention to her tired eyes. With a light kiss from Lucas, her eyelids fluttered closed. Sleep overcame her as she settled into the warmth of his strong embrace.

Morning sunlight filtered through the drawn shades causing a strained jerk beneath the sheets. Peyton awoke with a start turning over to kiss Lucas, taken aback as she realized he had gone. He was a gentleman though, and left a note on his pillow. She fumbled to get it open, smiling ever so slightly as she read his words.

_I was going to surprise you with breakfast, then realized that we had run out of food. I went down to the store, I should be back before you wake up, but if I'm not I left this just in case. I love you._

_Lucas._

Peyton clutched the letter close to her chest hurrying to dress herself in the clean clothes Lucas had laid out for her, a pair of his sweats and hoodie. She inhaled his sweet scent from the sleeves that were far too long for her, pushing them up as she trumped to the kitchen. A delicious smell wafted through her nostrils as she found Lucas standing before the stove staring intently at the frying pan.

"Good morning Luke." she said with a smile curling up on a chair at the kitchen table. He glanced over his shoulder smiling at the blonde a fixture of beauty of beauty in the kitchen.

"Hey Peyton." his smile widened ever so slightly. Silence passed between them, it was a gentle silence, a natural silence. She listened to the wind shake the leaves outside and the soft stir from the frying pan. If their situation had not been so grave she would have volunteered to stay in the cabin for the rest of her life. It was peaceful here, quiet and serene a picture that you would see in a book. She loved every minute of it. It was a wonder why anyone would want to live in the city when she was perfectly content here.

Lucas finally joined her at the table with two plates in hand, setting one down in front of Peyton. A growl of hunger ripped through her body and she realized exactly how hungry she really was. They ate in silence for awhile stealing small glances at one another from across the table.

"This is our first meal together." Peyton noted quietly after she swallowed a mouthful of bread.

Lucas looked from his plate looking as innocent as a child with some of his french toast hanging from the corner of his mouth.

Peyton chuckled leaning over the table to brush it away from his lips. Being the deviant that he was Lucas pulled her into a kiss. "You're right this is our first meal together, but I'm sure we could make it so much better." he murmured seductively after breaking the kiss.

Peyton smirked, "I'm sure we could find plenty of ways to make this meal better. And I think I have an idea." she whispered with equal seduction bringing her lips to barely brush along his.

As she pulled away his lips begged for contact to hers. In any case he just needed to feel physical contact between them. He very nearly lurched across the table crashing his lips against hers in a heated kiss. Peyton nearly fell backwards at the sudden intimacy of their contact as Lucas had managed to sweep her off her feet and place her gently upon the countertop. Eagerness was an understatement as his hands found instant comfort at her hips as his lips worked carefully down her neck and to her collarbone. Her hands ran over the expanse of his back tugging along the hem of his shirt in hopes to remove it. Lucas, however, would have nothing of it. He brought his lips back to hers immediately distracting her as his tongue found hers and thus began the dance. Heat rose between them Peyton's cheek's flushed a deeper red with every passing second.

Finally she found enough resisting strength and pulled his t-shirt over his head flinging it across the kitchen. Her lips roamed the plains of his chest as he inhaled the sweet scent in her hair. He gave a moan in anticipation bringing her lips back to his as his hands tugged eagerly at her sweatpants. They were both lost within one another now, each begging for the fire stewing between them to jump out of control.

Peyton sat clad in just her sweater and panties her fingers hooked beneath the hem of his boxers. From beside them they heard the very distinct ringer of Lucas' phone. He glanced to his and to Peyton biting at his lower lip. Reluctantly he answered the phone in a strained 'hello'.

She was not about to sit and wait with anticipation eating away at her. She leaned forward pressing her lips to the base of his throat her fingers tracing along the rim of his boxers.

"Are you sure?" he husked deeply putting on a brave face, though he could not fool Peyton. She could tell he was ready to hang up the phone any minute if she continued at this rate.

"Okay. Thanks mom. I'll call you tomorrow. Okay. Bye." He tossed his phone carelessly to the side a devilish smirk resonating on his features as he turned back to Peyton.

He leaned in for a kiss but Peyton pulled away. "What was that all about?" she asked curiously.

"They've got Rick. We can go home tomorrow." he responded though he was practically bursting at the seams.

"Oh god. That's great." she exclaimed.

Lucas nodded impatiently. "Mhm. Now where were we?"


	12. Homecoming

**Chapter Twelve: Homecoming**

Bags were packed and sitting by the front door. The kitchen had been cleaned, the sheets had been changed and the beds had been made. The cabin was practically immaculate. It was like they had never been here. However, the memories of this place would always stay with Lucas and Peyton. Lucas could still freshly picture the image of Peyton in desperation as she raged a batter within herself. Forever, they would remember the night of their rekindled love for one another and serenity that had been brought to them since then.

Peyton lay sprawled out on the couch her head resting on Lucas' lap, with a sigh she turned over to face to him. He stopped playing with her curls and smiled at her.

"What's on your mind Peyt?" he asked curiously resting his cheek against his fist. Gently, he brushed away the blonde curls that obscured her soft face.

She sighed longingly placing her finger tips on his cheek. "These past few days have been amazing and perfect, maybe some of the best of my life. I know we have to go back to reality but I don't know if I'm ready to go back. I would love to stay here for the rest of my life if it meant I could just be with you. We would never have to leave, except to get food of course."

Lucas chuckled, "We don't have to leave today you know. We could go home tomorrow; all I have to do is call my mom."

Peyton shook her head. "As good as my idea sounds we've worried everyone long enough. Karen, Brooke and Haley don't deserve that. We're going home today."

"Whatever you say Peyton." he said with a smirk leaning down to press his lips to hers. She sighed lovingly rolling over so she was straddling him at the hips. She found his lips again pressing light playful kisses along them and his jaw line. Laughing lightly Lucas entangled his fingers within her curly locks pulling her closer to him for the sake of closing the distance between their bodies. She could feel the warmth of his embrace envelope her and she never felt safer. She whispered sweet nothings in his ear and eventually rested her cheek where his neck met his collar bone. He pressed light kisses to her hair finally burying his cheek in her soft curls. The intimacy of their contact could have escalated in so many ways, but Lucas did not always need to make love to Peyton. He would just have been happy to look at her, touch her and hold her. Time away had brought them closer together. There were no more boundaries between them anymore, no more walls. They had all but broken them down.

Their long car ride home was spent with Peyton nestled tightly underneath Lucas' arm sleeping quietly despite the wind that whipped her hair about her face. They were going home, and thought Peyton would never really let on he knew she was still fearful. Rumors circulated quickly around Tree Hill, he and Peyton were both well aware of that. Deep in his gut he was sure that everyone probably knew about what happened to Peyton. That was the last thing she needed as she was still in the early stages of her recovery. She had said the worst of it was over, but there was still such a long road that she had left to follow.

It was early evening when they finally arrived at Lucas' house. She did wake when he lightly jostled her. Instead he picked her up and carried her inside laying her softly atop his bed and threw a blanket on top of her.

Karen appeared in the doorway only seconds later, throwing her arms around Lucas tears already streaming down both of her cheeks.

"Oh my god Lucas I was so worried about you and Peyton." she sobbed pulling her son closer to her, afraid if she let go he would disappear.

Lucas instinctually wrapped his arms around his mother patting her back softly. "Mom we're okay, we weren't any danger. I was more worried about you than anything. I was afraid he would come after you or someone close to us." he murmured pulling away from her.

"How is she?" she said with a nod towards Peyton as her eyes landed upon her.

Lucas turned to look at Peyton a small flicker of a smile upon his lips and then back to Karen. "She went through hell these past two weeks. It took a pretty big toll on her body, she's going to be okay physically, but mentally she has got a long road of recovery still to go."

"And how are you two?" she asked with a curious gaze.

"What are talking about?"

"Don't play dumb with me Lucas Scott. I saw the way you looked at her. Clearly something else happened during those two weeks." Karen comments a slight grin playing at the corner of her lips.

Lucas sighed and caved, Karen always knew what was going on. "I don't think starting a relationship with her right now is the best thing to do right now. But I don't think she cares. I love her mom. I'll do anything to make her happy."

Karen sighed with a shake of her head. "Good lord Lucas. I'm happy for you I really am. I just worry for you two that's all. I know what happened last time."

"I know mom, but this time is different. Things are different between us. These past two weeks brought us so much closer together. There is nothing she could do or say that would make me want to leave her." flicking his glance from Peyton back to Karen.

"Oh honey, I'm so glad you and Peyton are both back and safe." she gushed throwing her arms around Lucas' neck yet again.

"Don't worry mom, I'm here to stay. I missed you." he whispered giving her a light kiss on her forehead just before Karen retired to bed.

Immediately following he stretched out atop his bed wrapping his arms around a groggy Peyton. He pressed a light kiss to her temple holding her close to his body as she drifted in and out of sleep. Her body seemed to form around his so naturally as if they had slept like this their entire lives. Tomorrow was a big day for the both of them. Lucas only hoped that Peyton was up for it.

Peyton was awake before Lucas even began to stir. She wiggled from beneath his arm trying best not to wake him. Lucas, however, was so dead asleep nothing would have woken him. She tiptoed to the kitchen where Karen was sitting at the table sipping a cup of coffee. Karen smiled motioning Peyton to come sit with her.

"Good morning Karen." she said timidly sliding easily into the chair.

"Good morning to you too Peyton." Karen replied with a smile. "Here have some toast and juice."

Peyton nodded in thanks as Karen rose from the table and set a plate and glass in front of her. She was thankful Karen did not seem to be passing judgment on her, yet. But Karen was not one to judge.

"I'm glad you're okay and well again. I was really worried about Peyton. I'm just concerned. You could have come and talked to me."

"I know Karen and I'm so sorry it came down like it did." Peyton said cutting across before Karen could continue. "But I didn't know what to do with myself. I felt like I didn't have an outlet. Like I was stuck in some dark hole and I couldn't pull myself out of. But then Lucas came along and he took care of me. For that Karen, I am so thankful." Peyton finished with a slight bravado.

Karen smiled lovingly reaching out to place her hand atop of Peyton's. Peyton immediately met Karen's smile with a small one of her own. "I'm so glad that you and Lucas found each other again. Above all, I'm glad both of you are safe and came back."

"Thank you Karen." she replied barely above a whisper tears beginning to brim in the corner of her eyes.

Their heartfelt moment was brought to a close as a tired Lucas scuffled into the kitchen rubbing sleep from his eye. He was fully dressed but it was evident to both Karen and Peyton how tired he really was. The dark circles beneath his heavy lidded eyes were unmistakable.

"Morning, Mom…Peyton." he said gruffly seemingly surprised at the appearance of his mom and Peyton sitting at the kitchen table together. He took a seat between them almost collapsing on top of the table the moment he sat down.

"Lucas you look too tired. Maybe you should stay home today." Peyton suggested running her fingers through his hair.

"We've missed way too much as it is." he replied letting his head fall into his arms.

"She's got a point honey, you look exhausted. Why don't you just stay home today and catch up on your sleep." Karen tried rubbing his son's back.

Lucas would hear nothing of it shaking his head in response. "I don't want Peyton to go back alone today." he mumbled barely sounding as if he formed a sentence.

"Jeez Luke, I could stay here today, it's not a big deal." Peyton retorted with a roll of her eyes.

Lucas, however, put his foot down. "No we're going today. The sooner the better. We're done hiding okay?" he said sharply suddenly jolting up.

Peyton nodded in agreement at his sudden outburst. It was rather easy to tell he was in no mood to be messed with today. They bid their good-byes to Karen for the afternoon and Lucas promised they would come back home right after school. His clasped tightly around Peyton's as they made their way up the school grounds. She could feel the stares burning through her, but Lucas was her shield, nothing could hurt her today.

"You ready?" he asked turning to face her.

"I'm always ready when you're with me." she whispered turning her body back to the school and they began their slow walk inside.


	13. Never Let This Go

**Chapter Thirteen: Never Let This Go**

The door shut behind them nobody paid much attention to them as they began their slow march. A sudden over confidence seemed to hit them, but that was quickly diminished. One person turned and caught sight of the two and nudged their friend in the ribs. Whispers began to circulate about the hallway and soon every pair of eyes was fixated upon her.

"Breathe." Lucas murmured tightening his grip on her hand.

She inhaled deeply closing her eyes and whisked herself away to someplace serene, someplace that swept her away. As she opened her eyes, however, everything around her seemed to slow down. She could pick out every stare and every sneer. The whispers were slurred together but she knew without a doubt they were about her.

Lucas led them to her locker where Haley, Brooke and Nathan were waiting. Haley and Brooke instantly showered Peyton with hugs.

"Thanks you two it's nice to see you again." Peyton showed a genuine smile as she was released from Brooke's tight hold.

"How are you?" came Haley's worried tone and Peyton knew this question would surface eventually.

"I'm battling, but if I can make it through today I think I'll be alright." she replied confidently and even added a smile for reassurance. The first bell rang causing many people still milling in the hallway to scatter and prompting the five of them to head to class. There would be time to catch up later. Peyton received hugs from Haley and Brooke and a final one from Nathan. Lucas laced his hand within hers grasping it tightly.

"You'll be fine." he whispered in her ear.

"I know I will." she murmured back pressing her lips lightly to his.

Lucas was prompt arriving quickly after each of her classes greeting her with light peck upon her lips and the same repeated question if she was okay before he enlaced their fingers and walked to her next class. Without Lucas, Peyton had no idea how she would have ever made it through the day. He was her rock her knight in shining armor. Most of all he was her everything. He was there when no one else was. She needed him just as much as he needed her.

With the end of the school day approaching she was confident she was going to be able to make it. Then rush home to Lucas' house and fall asleep and not wake up until Monday. The class ending bell rang throughout the school and Peyton filed out of her classroom. She waited a minute and Lucas was not there. She thought nothing of it and continued on thinking he would catch up with her in due time. That, however, was wishful thinking.

She felt as if someone was following her but she did not dare to turn around. In the next moment a large figure stood in front of her, laughing as she came to an abrupt stop. She made a motion to turn around but she found yet another boy standing in her way. In no time she was surrounded by a group of boys all laughing and snickering.

"Well well well, lookie what we got here Mike." came the voice of the tallest one.

"Ain't that the truth Rodney we finally caught us the little slut. Hard to find her alone without that Scott boy attached to her hip." the boy named Mike called back.

Suddenly she felt the boy named Rodney close upon her. "Is that what you are? A whore? Did you sell your body for that hit make all the pain go away?" he mocked with a laugh.

The group reverberated with laughter and Peyton felt herself sink to the ground. She felt the painful memories come haunting back to her. She saw Rick and that fateful night when she and Lucas ran away.

"Come baby, just five minutes in the bathroom and I promise we'll do lines you slut. You'd sell yourself for practically nothing for a little crack wouldn't ya?" Rodney's voice seemed so envelope her as did his body as his hands groped for her body.

Slut. Whore. Bitch. The words flew from the boys like they meant nothing. She was so close to tears she could feel them brim to the surface. She tried to escape but they were too much for Peyton to handle.

Things were growing out of control any moment and she felt that the boys were going to hurt her physically. Lucas rounded the corner raising his brows at the gathering near the lockers and thinking nothing of it. Then he heard the desperate cries from Peyton and something snapped inside of him.

Immediately he grabbed the closest one he could find which happened to be Rodney throwing him up against the locker punching him once hard in the face, his shirt held tightly between Lucas' fists.

"Whoa Scott what the fuck?" spat Rodney struggling though Lucas surpassed him in strength.

"You stay the fuck away from her you understand me?" he shouted with his face only inches away from Rodney's.

"Oh you mean your little slut." Lucas punched him again.

"Stay the fuck away from her punk or I swear to god…" but he never got any farther as two strong hands pulled him away from Rodney.

"Lucas walk away." Nathan tried to soothe his brother guiding him away from the crowd.

"Yeah I got it." he replied sharply anger still pumping through his veins.

"Luke, man what was that all about?"

"They were harassing Peyton. I wasn't just going to sit back and let it happen."

Peyton. Her name seemed to bring a sudden calm over him then a sudden worry. His eyes darted about the empty hallway then back to where the crowd was dispersing. She was nowhere to be found. Immediately he darted towards the door taking off in a run.

"Dude, Lucas where the hell are you going?" Nathan called after him.

"To find Peyton I'm not about to let her go alone." he called back running out in the rain scanning the parking lot hoping to find her.

He took off towards his house thinking that was the first place she would. To his luck he found her not too far away completely soaked from head to toe. "Peyton!" he called after her finally falling into stride with her. "Let me take you home." he whispered pulling her close to his body.

"I don't want to go home Lucas."

"Then at least let me take you back to my place and get you some warm clothes, you'll freeze out here like this." he murmured pressing his lips to her hair.

She nodded wrapping her arms around his waist and let him guide her back to his house. Once inside Peyton pulled away from Lucas tears finally pouring from her eyes.

"Peyton what it is?" he asked closing the space between them.

"I can't do this anymore. I can't this I can't fight my past I can't escape it."

Lucas wrapped his arms around her tightly pressing light kisses to her forehead. "You can do this Peyton. It was your first day back no one expected you to make it as long as you did." he assured nestling his cheek into her hair.

"You heard them Lucas, they called me a whore and so many names. Is that was people think of me?" the tears came in full again prompting Lucas to rock her gently back and forth.

"Don't worry about those assholes. They don't know you and they never will. You've come so far already don't give up now."

She pulled away from him a small smile flickering upon her lips. Lucas wiped the tears away from her eyes with his thumbs. Their eyes locked and their bodies began to gravitate towards each other like they had done this dance so many times before. Lips met in a tender kiss all worry, all fear washing away from them. It took but a moment for the kiss the deepen their tongues entwining in a dance that felt so natural to them. He pulled her wet hoodie and t-shirt over head then his own shirt flinging them both to side gently guiding her to his bed where their lips would reunite.

Heat began to rise between them, their bodies no longer cold. Her hands worked tirelessly at the snap of his jeans fumbling for a moment before unsnapping them and he stepped out of the denim with ease. He was swift and elegant as he removed her jeans. Lips pressed to her collar bone, trailing down her breasts. He pressed butterfly kisses to her stomach dipping his tongue into her navel. He paused at the base of her underwear nipping at the cotton. She moaned in anticipation. He obeyed removing her panties with ease, then he too stepped from his boxers feeling himself free of restraints.

Lucas paused hovering over Peyton staring intently into her eyes. She gave a light nod of assurance bringing Lucas' lips to hers. He too smiled then pressed into her wetness gently. They both let out a moan in unison. His first few pumps inside of her were slow and deliberate just to feel her walls around him. Then no longer could he restrain himself and his pace suddenly quickened sending ecstasy through Peyton's veins.

She could feel her climax approaching and she wanted him more than ever. "Lucas." she whimpered quickly her nails raking across his back. Their lips crashed against each others as Lucas pumped harder feeling his own climax build in his belly.

"Peyton." he groaned tossing his head back as he released his seed. She came not soon after panting heavily as they rode out the final moments of their climax. He pulled out of her pressing kisses anywhere his lips could find.

He collapsed to her side feeling the fatigue wash over him. He had not realized how tired he actually was.

"Sleep." Peyton murmured pulling his lips into a kiss.

Lucas obeyed closing his eyes and let sleep hit him like a wave. Peyton lay there listening to the gentle sounds of his breathing until it too rocked her to sleep.

Peyton woke before he did hearing the light sounds of his snoring. He was a fixture of beauty in his sleep, so innocent so angelic like. Yet she could see the tired lines etched in his face, lines that were there because of her. She loved him, she truly did. But was love enough?

She rolled out from beneath the sheets, gathering up her now dry clothes and throwing them on her body. She stole a final glance at the sleeping Lucas and took flight from his room tears already welling in her eyes.

---

"There are bags packed." came Lucas' voice from her doorway as he leaned against the frame with his arms folded over his chest.

"I thought you'd still be asleep. You looked so tired." she replied ignoring his statement.

He too disregarded her reply. "There are bags packed." he repeated.

Peyton finally turned to face him trying to avoid his steely gaze. "I'm leaving Lucas. I need to leave."

"You don't need to leave Peyton."

"No Lucas, you don't understand. If I'm going to get better, truly get better I need to leave Tree Hill."

"Then I'll come with you." he tried.

"No. Luke please be reasonable. I'm not going to ask you to pick up your life for me." she replied gathering her remaining possessions and throwing them into a smaller bag. Lucas said not another word and watched as she zipped the bag and threw it over his shoulder. She caught his eyes just before she fled from her room and took flight down the stairs.

"Peyton please wait." he called taking off after her. She was almost already to her car when he caught up with her.

She chose to ignore him opening her trunk and throwing her bags inside.

"Peyton please we can talk about this."

"Lucas stop okay. You doing this doesn't make leaving any easier." she replied slamming the trunk shut.

"Peyton." he murmured grasping her arm spinning her to face him crashing his lips immediately against hers. She felt herself melt into his embrace feeling tears well in her eyes.

He pulled away resting his forehead against hers.

"Please." he whispered as a final plea.

"Luke. I love you and I always will. But I need to do this. Lucas please." she murmured throw her tears.

He released her arms and tears began to glisten in his eyes. She pulled him into a kiss and for that moment it was only her, Peyton Sawyer, and him, Lucas Scott, and nothing else mattered. She let her lips linger upon his just before she pulled away.

Lucas watched her pull out of the driveway and drive off into the dense fog. He watched until he could no longer see her taillights. He knew standing here would not bring her back, but he could not bring himself to move.


	14. We Are Nowhere, And It's Now

**Chapter Fourteen: We Are Nowhere, And It's Now**

Karen Roe sat worriedly upon her couch having just left her son a fifth message. It had come to the point that if he did not show up soon she was going to have to call the police. The minutes passed and thunder rolled overhead coupled with bright flashes of lightning as well as the hard pounding of rain against the windows. Just as she was about to dial 911, the front door open and there stood Lucas.

He was soaked to the bone and water dripped from his hair and clothes that clung to him like his skin. Karen rose from the couch immediately but Lucas had already stumbled towards her. She instinctually wrapped her arms around him and could feel the tremors rock his body from the sobs and she guided him to the couch.

"Lucas honey, what's wrong? Where's Peyton." Karen whispered holding him close to her.

"S…sh…she she's gone." he finally managed to choke out as the tears rolled freely from his eyes and down his cheek.

"Gone? Lucas tell me what happened." Karen murmured rocking him gently while her hand rubbed his back.

Lucas collected himself long enough to splutter out coherent sentences. "I don't know mom. She got harassed at school yesterday so I brought her back here and we fell asleep. We were both so tired. When I woke up she was gone. I went to her house and she was leaving. She kissed me, said 'I love you' and got in her car and…left." at the last word the tears came yet again and his body shook from the sobs.

"Shh." Karen cooed rubbing back and rocking him gently like she used to do so many years ago when he was just a boy.

"I feel so lost. What am I going to do now mom?"

"That's the million dollar question Lucas. Even I don't have an answer. You'll find your way, find a way to cope and wish on the stars baby. If love is enough you will find each other. You'll be okay Lucas you'll be okay." she whispered hugging her son closer to her body hoping that even if it was a small amount of reassurance, by god she would give it to him.

Lucas tried to move on, he called and texted her frequently after her departure. Yet it came as no surprise when his texts were left unanswered and his calls were not returned. Eventually, he stopped finding that it did him no good to cling to something that was no longer there. However, he still clung to her, the memories, the clothes she left behind in his room, and the many cds she made him. He could never bring himself to fully let go.

-Time passed-

Snow fell lightly from the gray clouds that hung overhead masking the blue sky beneath. Peyton Sawyer stared intently outside her window watching people put up their Christmas lights while several other houses' lights had already turned on. Winter in Massachusetts was a beautiful sight as Peyton watched the flakes fall forming a thick blanket of white. A deep sigh emitted from her throat as she gazed longingly outside. Five years had done the blonde well. Her hair had grown out darkening slightly as the years passed. Her eyes were a softer green presenting a gentler and welcoming look.

"Peyton?" came a small voice from the doorway. Peyton turned slightly presenting a small smile at her aunt.

"Hey Kate." she managed returning her gaze back outside. There was a small pause between them before Kate spoke again.

"Dinner's ready if you're hungry. If not I'll save you some for later." Kate replied gently taking a few steps towards Peyton.

"Thanks Kate, I'll be down in a minute." she responded quietly.

Kate had been nothing short of a rock since Peyton had moved in with her nearly five years ago following her departure from Tree Hill. She was her mother's sister but they had lost contact after Anna's death. When Peyton tracked her down Kate and her fiancé Colton had welcomed her with open arms. Kate even reminded her of Anna in more ways than not and Colton was protective of her and Kate in his own way. Together they were a family and it was exactly what Peyton needed.

"Are you thinking about him again?" Kate asked in a soft tone careful the way she worded it. Talk of Lucas Scott was normally a topic not often discussed.

Normally, Peyton would deny such doings, but Kate always knew better. However, today was different. "Yeah, I am."

Though she had not been thinking about Lucas Scott directly, she had been thinking about a part of him that he left with her. It was a memory that would be with her for a lifetime…

_Sickness had plagued her in the following weeks after moving in with Kate. She figured it was just her adjusting to the new climate. Yet when the sickness did not subside Kate suggested that they go see the doctor. _

_"Kate, really I'm fine I don't need to see the doctor." Peyton protested._

_"Peyton please be reasonable. I know you may not want to admit it, but lets be realistic here. Constant sickness and cramps, Peyton I think you know what this means." Kate was never one to really sugarcoat things, but Peyton respected her for it._

_"I can't be pregnant. I just can't be." her thoughts ran rampant. It could have only been Lucas'. He was the only one she had been with._

_"Whose is it?" Kate asked in nonchalant tone but even she could tell it was meant in a serious manner._

_"It would have to be Lucas' seriously Kate who else would I have been with, I haven't been out of your sight since I got here." she joked with a roll of her eyes. She had told Kate of the infamous Lucas Scott and of course her departure from Tree Hill, so it came as no shock when Kate showed no expression that resembled surprise._

_"Well let's go see. We won't know for sure until you take a test."_

_There she sat awkwardly on a table in an exam room. Kate was there too sitting pretty in a seat beside the curtain. The doctor reappeared later carrying her chart and glancing over it again before he spoke._

_"Well Ms. Sawyer you are pregnant. From what we can tell you're about two and half months along."_

_Something in Peyton lifted. Maybe this was her way out of the mess she was in. Maybe, just maybe this could completely help her get healthy. She thanked the doctor and turned to Kate._

_"I'm checking myself into rehab."_

_Rehab was rigorous and exhausting. However, she found her physical health as well as mental health greatly improve during her first week and a half. Once she was released Kate did her yet another favor and hired her to work beneath her at the small boutique she owned. Life as she knew it was improving and it seemed almost too perfect. It was then that tragedy struck._

_Kate had warned not to do too much around the store, but Peyton was never one to listen as she wanted to be as helpful as possible. Nothing had ever happened to her yet so she continued her work load. However, it was one minor puddle of water that sent her world into a spin. She was rushing trying to finish inventory before closing. She had not noticed the spill and she was walking for to fast and fell right on her stomach. Kate came rushing to her side immediately and called for an ambulance._

_She was absolutely devastated when the doctor informed her she had miscarried. The one thing that pulled her out of the darkness was gone and she almost felt the light fading. After the loss of the baby she found that spent plenty of time busying herself with work. Kate worried but never pressed the issue. They never really talked about Lucas or the baby much and left her to mourn quietly to herself. _

"Peyton." Kate called to her again.

Peyton snapped out of her trance and turned back to Kate. "Yeah I'm coming." she replied and followed Kate down the stairs.

"Ahhh there she is." Colton smiled brightly at her as she appeared in the kitchen. "I was wondering if we were going to see you tonight."

Peyton chuckled, "Well here I am Colt, your wish is my command."

"That's my girl." he grinned pulling her into a bear hug.

---

The days passed, the days became longer and suddenly five years had gone by and Lucas had hardly realized it. He graduated high school and took off for University of North Carolina straight away prompting Karen to travel abroad with Andy. Once he finished college he came back to Tree Hill and took the helm of the mighty Tree Hill Ravens basketball team after Whitey retired. Karen gave him the home he grew up in, but passed that he did not do much. Life was monotonous and repetitive. He went to sleep, woke up, went to work, came home, then the cycle repeated. It was easy and he soon fell comfortable with it.

Women never seemed to interest him anymore. He went on dates, even slept with a few women but it was never satisfying. No women held one tenth of the attraction Peyton held for him. Five years had gone by and he still clung to her. He did not, could not see any other women, he had eyes only for her. Maybe once she returned to him, his life would no longer be in grayscale.

* * *

**Author's Note: Okay I understand that I rushed through what happened in those five years especially something as big as the pregnancy and miscarrage. However, this story was originally supossed to be two stories. The first ending how the last chapter did but I decided last minute to make into a larger one thus prompting the gloss over. Trust me I still have more for this story yet to come.**


End file.
